24 Cuersaar 837

Heroes of the Netherdeep | Emon (Tal’Dorei) | 09/28 Session

• The Dauntless arrives above Emon only to find a sizeable force laying siege to the city. Pandora notices that the armor of the soldiers involved aren’t matching, suggesting mercenary forces, and recognizes that both the Clasp and the Myriad have plans in this city, so this could be a ploy of one or the other. Large spells and rocks are traded between the guards of Emon and the mercenary forces. Paige gets the impression that there’s about one siege soldier for every two guards, but they have enough forces to lay siege for awhile, which is about the only way to attack Emon. The group bickers over whether they should land among the mercenary forces (Pandora’s idea) or in Emon (Zook’s idea). Zook informs them they shouldn’t have an issue getting into the city, but getting out of it might prove troublesome.

• Aida casts Sending to the Voice of the Tempest.

“Good day to you. Have you heard of what happened in Emon? There’s a siege going on. And they might need your help. We’re there for business. Stay safe.”

“Shining day to you. I had recently been informed there was trouble in Emon, but not as to the details. I’m afraid I don’t know very much. You stay safe also.”

• Aida gets the impression that Keyleth views this more as a matter of politics than the ancient monster that nearly destroyed Kymal, so she’s less quick to rush to action.

• Rumis informs the group that the main conflict he noticed in his time in Emon was the complaints of the small folk against the nobility. The group, upon a second examination of the forces laying siege to Emon, recognize that a great deal of the people could be rebel forces rather than mercenary.

Lore Drop: Since Alyxian’s demise, Emon has stratified into some wealth disparity, and there’s been a lot of sentiment amongst the common folk that there should be a change in leadership. The common folk believe that Emon is no longer a city meant for the people, and that it is just a haven for rich crooks.

• Paige notices that the tactics are guerilla, and it isn’t unreasonable to be a force of rebel soldiers. She also notices they are incredibly well organized, with river access blocked off and all major roads barricaded. Paige’s frustrated, sympathizing with the rebels, and Pandora remarks that they should skip the whole conflict and just go straight to Vasselheim. Rodreck points out that ushering in a new regime could be a way to reintegrate with the Myriad of Emon, and Paige remarks they should get guillotines. The group comes to the conclusion they should land in Emon, and Pandora casts sending to the leader of the Myriad in Emon - Tully Dezzeram.

“Hey, it’s Pandora. What’s going on in Emon? Stilben’s destroyed. Is this your plan? Siege?”

“Pandora, darling. So good of you to drop by. Sorry about Stilben, so sad. We’re doing fine with the siege. Proving to be profitable.”

• Pandora is incredibly annoyed at her response, and remarks that if they want to fuck with the siege then she’s down because of how smug Tully seemed about Stilben.

• The Citrine Garrison is there to greet the party as the Dauntless lands, landlocking the ship until further notice. Tofor Brotoras asks the group if they are friend or foe, Rodreck weaves a clever half-truth of the party as emissaries from the Air Ashari, though Tofor looks at them strange since they do not look like Air Ashari. Pandora pretends that was a racist thing to ask, while Paige waxes prose about how much she “fucking loves” trees. After a brief pause, Tofor reveals to them that The Myriad and The Clasp, have raised the people up against the guards and laid siege to Emon, demanding the complete dissolution of the Tal’Dorei Council. Tofor remarks they want anarchy, which Paige struggles not to reply to. Pandora says they need to get a lay of the land, but promises to help in any way they can, as she ushers the group to Abdar’s Promenade, where she knows the Myriad to frequent. Pandora questions what Tully Dezzeram is thinking, as the Myriad and the Clasp have been at war for decades. To work with them is akin to treason.

• Aida walks a few paces behind the group, and her eyes catch the modest shrine to Ioun that looks more like a bookstore than a temple. She shows the now-normal spellbook (formerly the Tome of Ioun) the temple excitedly, before her shaking it off. Jon shoots her a few odd looks, noticing her behavior and concerned since she hasn’t been eating properly. After a pause, she catches back up with the group.

• Pandora states that they’ll probably have to break out since they won’t want to get involved in whatever Tully has cooked up, but she still wants to try her plan. Paige and Rodreck both point out that, even with war profiteering as a motive, it is incredibly strange for the Myriad to work with the Clasp, and stranger still for any criminal organization to be involved in a poor man’s revolution. Pandora agrees, before leading them to the temple of the Raven Queen.

• Pandora attempts to enter the temple of the Raven Queen wearing the splintered mask she had been reincarnated in back in Ank’Harel, but is rebuffed. Her forced confidence results in a bloodied nose, and the flash-pain of the bruising contact and rebuff triggers a memory of when she was pulled from the ship by her (former) deity:

In that kind of flash of pain and confusion, Pandora, a memory surfaces of when you were in the presence of the Raven Queen and you get a very short but very stark reminder that she holds you responsible for what is happening to Rodreck and Rumis.

• Pandora proceeds to shout at the door, losing all composure and tension from her attempt to enter, and Rodreck realizes she is the only one blocked, as he’s able to enter just fine.

“Are you fucking kidding me? That it? That’s what I made the mistake of?” and I think Pandora is like fully shouting. She’s not paying attention, she’s not saying this in her head. “That is what you’re so mad about? The fact that other people make stupid- This… I didn’t even fuck up, they fucked up, and you’re holding me accountable because you didn’t even tell me to prevent people from making deals. You did not tell me that was a possibility, you didn’t say there were things that were interested in us like that. All you said was excellence, which, what even is excellence? Is it being good at magic because I’m good at magic is it being a good person because I’m not that and you knew that when you chose me.”

• Rodreck asks if she’s alright, and Paige asks if she wants them to go in, and Pandora simply says they will fix this, and that she will speak to the Raven Queen. Pandora asks if they are ready for her plan, and they manage to convince her to go back to the ship. Rodreck offers to stab her with a rapier, and Paige makes the mistake of referring to Tully as her boss, leading to a long-winded rant about how Emon sucks and she prefers Stilben that Rumis ends with a reminder of what happened to Stilben.

• Tragic! Pandora still isn’t allowed to stab people even when they deserve it. 🥲

• As they start walking back to the ship, Pandora starts murmuring about how her death needs to be violent so it is a good sacrifice, and that the Raven Queen will have to talk clearly to her even if it means her soul wanders down to the Hells. Rodreck offers her a crowbar, and Paige says they shouldn’t kill her in the middle of the street. Pandora says, tone somewhere near fanatic, that it doesn’t matter so long as it happens today. Paige notices that she’s losing it completely, but Rumis and Aida are too focused inwardly to notice. Paige also noticed that Pandora is saying things that don’t sound entirely like her own words, as though she’s quoting something someone else told her.

• Paige, at this realization, tells the party not to get mad, and slaps Pandora with a remove curse. Pandora prepares to hit Paige with inflict wounds, before feeling the tether to Orpheus break and reform as Orpheus is unsummoned. She also notices, after a moment, that the crown is looser. She asks what Paige did, and Paige explains she slapped her with remove curse and holds her in place at the shoulders. Rodreck tells her that she wanted him to beat her to death with a crowbar, and Pandora says she still thinks that it is a good idea because violence should draw the Matron’s attention. Paige slaps her again, and Pandora tells her not to do it a third time or she’ll retaliate.

• Paige explains that Pandora didn’t sound like herself, and Pandora remarks that she does not remember the entirety of her summoning by the Matron. What she can recall is limited by the physical trauma of speaking with a deity, and her own emotional turmoil. With the temple barring her entry violently, and Paige’s remove curse, Pandora remembers the disappointment and blame more clearly, recalling that the entire conversation was a recrimination on Pandora’s leadership skills because she didn’t take care of her “crew”.

“No, I still have to die because I need to talk to her. This isn’t an option. It’s not a discussion. It’s going to happen, I have to - It has to happen, okay?”

Paige raises her hand up, prepared to slap Pandora once more.

“Don’t. If you slap me again I’m going to stab you with my sword. Hard. I’m not cursed, Paige, I am exactly who I’ve always been and I refuse to just…” Pandora trails off, not entirely sure what to say.

• Paige counters that with the fact that Orpheus disappeared when she slapped Pandora. Paige asks if there was anything weird with how she obtained Orpheus, and she says she just got the spell from some notes. Rodreck tells Paige her notes were boring, so he didn’t read them.

“Nothing’s happening to Orpheus. He just got possessed by that whatever that one time.”

“That one time,” Paige replies doubtfully.

“Yeah. I told you about it.”

“Yeah I know I’m not questioning like I never heard it before. I’m questioning like you might want to rethink that.”

“Listen. I get that you and Rumis are having memory problems so you’re trying to project that onto other people, but excluding the thing with the Raven Queen (which I think was more of a matter of prime deity communicating with mortal being traumatic) I don’t have any memory problems.”

Paige stares at Pandora in disbelief.

• After a few angry comments Paige doesn’t let herself voice, Pandora suggests going back to the ship and Rodreck starts trying to pry the mask off his face with a crowbar. He accomplishes nothing more than hurting himself, but when Paige sees what he’s trying to do, she slaps him with Remove Curse.

• The mask falls to the ground, blank and white, beckoning for Rodreck to put it back on. The strain of the curse drains Paige of all her level 3 and up spell slots, sending her flying back to the ground - she only avoids taking falling damage by a quick feather-fall on Aida’s part. When Paige approaches the mask, she hears the same whisperings of power and fame that the mask offered Rodreck in the first place, but she avoids temptation.

Paige has slapped away all of your power. Everything that has ever made you special is now lying on the ground because of Paige.

“How you feeling?” Paige asks.

“I feel a little weak… and as if all my abilities are gone.”

Pandora half-heartedly pats his shoulder. “There-there. It doesn’t get better, but it keeps going and then you just kind of move on.”

Paige examines the mask.

It’s a porcelain mask. There are eye holes but no nose no mouth um and as you stare longer at it you will notice that when you try and look through the eye hole there’s nothing behind it. Like it’s not the ground that the mask is laying on it’s just nothing. But you are filled with the certainty that if you put this mask on you would be filled with amazing power you wouldn’t you wouldn’t even need your team anymore. You’d be powerful enough that you could just do whatever you wanted all on your own.

“Maybe I should put that back on,” Rodreck says, reaching for it.

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Paige says, before tucking it in her bag.

• Paige remarks that whatever is trying to weasel its way in the group might be trying to hold their power hostage. Pandora asks what power, reminding her of the Raven Queen’s punishment. Paige says she’s now just relying on that crown, and Pandora says she was relying on the Raven Queen before, and maybe (though she doesn’t sound as though she believes this) the crown will be different.

• As the group descends into another bickering fest over whether or not Pandora’s spider crown is evil, Aida turns herself invisible, and makes her way to the Temple of Ioun, telling the group she’ll meet back up with them when everyone calms down.

• Pandora remarks that she “doesn’t know enough about Lolth to judge her” to which Paige replies that she doesn’t need to know much to judge her harshly. After some more back-and-forth, Pandora tells Aida via sending that they are heading back to the ship, and she can join them when ready. Aida says she won’t be long. Pandora leads the group back, muttering half-formed thoughts under her breath about the Raven Queen under her breath that only Paige can pick up on.

• Jon follows Aida by smell, offering support as she gently prods at the door to Ioun’s temple. Ioun’s door does not rebuke her, and she is able to make her way inside. The temple is modest, more like a bookstore or shrine than a true temple, and inside it is Aida’s latest Big Boy crush - Kai Bearcroft. Aida asks about past champions of Ioun, and how the selection process works. Kai hands her three books, including a tome on Scanlan Shorthalt (of Vox Machina). Scanlan, as Kai describes, was chosen due to an oncoming confrontation with the Whispered One. There was another champion selected during the Time of Troubles, and Kai remarks that it seems Ioun chooses champions during times of struggle, otherwise not normally choosing champions, and that she must have an expansive library to choose from. Aida should take this to mean she is special, but she lacks insight.

• Kai gives Aida a book about Zerxus Ilerez, a champion of the Dawnfather, as a gift. She gives him a scroll of Comprehend Language in turn, and Kai bows (note: he is about her height fully bent over, which is information very relevant to Aida’s Adventures in Romance)

“This is, you know, this is one for one. This is yours.” As he bows at the waist, he’s almost as low as you are tall. He bows very deeply and just says, “you honor me.”

“Yeah, it’s, it’s, uh, just do good. That’s, that’s the way it is, you know? One for one.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Um, I think that’s, that’s, you know, you gain knowledge, you also give knowledge. I think blessed be to Ioun, and I think that’s how, you know, she has taught, um, her followers.”

“Well,” Kai says, “she teaches us more that knowledge should be worshipped rather than her. She teaches us that through, uh, worshipping, accumulating, and sharing knowledge, we are doing her bidding.”

• Aida feels comforted by her conversation with Kai in Ioun’s “temple”, and decides it is time to go back to the ship with Jon. She asks for “uppies”, and Jon discusses Ioun with her on the flight back.

“I didn’t want to lead Ioun on because I don’t know what being her champion is gonna…What’s gonna happen in the future. I worried that if she invested so much time and energy, and I might turn it away in the future. I don’t…It’s not that…If I know what being a champion is, if I can work it into my future schedule, it could work. It could work. I am open to the thought. But just now, I want to save her and the other gods. So still on that mission…She’s very kind. You know, I’m still allowed in her temple, despite not getting an answer from her, which makes sense. She is upset. Yeah. So, god, what’s Paige gonna say about this? I don’t want to go back. Paige is gonna be so mad.”

“Well, firstly, I don’t think that avoiding everyone because of Paige’s reaction is a good idea. Paige can be erratic in her emotional advice,” Jon says very testily, though Aida doesn’t know quite why.

“But I…”

“So something that the Voice of the Tempest was trying to teach me that I’m not sure I have learned fully yet is that nobody, not me, not you, not her, maybe not even Ioun, can tell the future. No one knows what’s gonna happen in the future. It’s all guessing. So the best thing you can do is to do the good thing now. I’m paraphrasing, of course. I don’t want to try and poorly mimic her, but this is kind of what I’ve been thinking about lately. So, you know, I don’t know. You are a very smart and…Well, you’re a lot of things, but you’re very smart. You’re a very good wizard. You’re very smart. You’re very thoughtful. And I think that that is exemplary standards for a champion of the Knowing Mentor, personally.” And he kind of, like, gets a little blushy and kind of, like, very determinedly looks into the distance to make sure that the skies are clear ahead of you as his wings flap you through the sky of Emon back towards the ship.

“Did she tell you that you are no longer champion? I’m confused.”

“You know, the funny thing is, she is very patient, and she let me pour my feelings out via words and via writing. I have not heard a reply, but I am the one who severed connection because, you know, I didn’t want to…Going back to the point, I didn’t want to lead her on and have her give me so much knowledge. And in the end, when I find out, well, being a champion means I have to do this and that, and that could interject with my future plans, and in the end, I’m like, oh, well, that’s a lot of stuff that maybe I can’t do but, you know, we’ve been together for a couple of months, thank you for your time, and then just poof. That’s not nice. That’s not good. I’m doing research. I want to know.”

“Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but if you are the one who severed the connection, couldn’t you just unsever it?”

• Aida tells Jon it would be rude, but can’t exactly ignore the idea now that it’s been planted in her head. She remarks that he could’ve benefited from more time with the Voice of the Tempest, and Jon tells her that killing the monstrosity in front of Kymal was the coolest thing they’ve ever done, and he’s learning plenty with Aida.

• As the party approaches the tarmac where the Dauntless is parked, they notice the big chain keeping it secure. Pandora sweeps the ship for potential spy devices, and only finds a picasso moth. She crushes it in her fist thoughtlessly, and Aida uses spells to bring it back to life and free it from the ship. In return, she finds Gift of Alacrity stored in her spellbook in her handwriting (as this is dunomancy, coveted magic, she is very shocked).

• Pandora, as everyone settles back into the ship, drops her gear and uses a dagger to start painting blood sigils in the grass in celestial and elvish. Some of them read things like focus, summon, commune, entreat, darkness, death, and winter, with a symbol of the Raven Queen in the center, and the sigils all center around getting a deity’s attention. Pandora takes a drop of Rumis’ blood to use as a focus ing agent to the Shadowfell, and sits cross-legged in the center as she waits for Aida to stop fussing over the bug she (Pandora) killed. The crown falls off her somewhere between her starting the blood magic, and sitting down to wait.

Pandora’s armor is on backwards because when she put it back on, she was not paying attention. Her hair is an absolute disaster. And like she’s covered in her own blood because she’s not being careful with it. So she’s just sitting there kind of looking almost manic. And she’s just like still muttering things. And she’s just waiting.

• Rodreck, Pandora, Paige, and Rumis all notice the rumble of thunder as Pandora sits in her blood-magic circle. It was a beautiful, sunny day before they entered the ship, but it is now stormy.

• Paige, getting a bad feeling about the circle - noting it looks suspiciously like a summoning circle - and upon examination, gets a feeling that Pandora has one foot off the edge of something dark. Paige questions her on what the sigil is, and why she’s making this a ritualistic sacrifice. Pandora says this is the best chance she has to reach the Raven Queen directly as she’s been barred from the temple, and Paige asks her if this could bring something here instead.

• Pandora realizes that yes, it could, but doesn’t quite grasp the danger of flinging herself into the afterlife without knowing the Raven Queen will catch her. Paige, to some extent, realizes just how dangerous this is, and casts See Invisibility. She notices rapidly moving ethereal shapes, but can’t make them out clearly.

• Rumis, to the side, notices that Pandora is performing blood magic she wasn’t able to just a few days prior, and wonders who is providing the power if the Raven Queen isn’t.

You understand that gods have clerics and how that relationships work more or less, right? Pandora has stated, I believe last session, that she’s a blood cleric and that’s connected to her worship of the Raven Queen, so if the Raven Queen broke up with her, then where is all this blood magic coming from?

• Paige tells Pandora that this probably isn’t going to do what she wants it to - to Paige’s eyes, the circle seems more like a vacuum than an explosion, and with all the magic items each of them carry, it seems like a powder-keg situation - and questions where she learned it. Pandora admits it is experimental, and a bastardization of a couple different rituals. Paige tells her this is a bad idea with all the magic items, and Pandora ignores her almost entirely, thinking the problem is she’s not wearing the Deathwalker’s Ward. As Pandora continues to ramble about why this is going to work, ignoring the danger of the entire situation and her better sense, Paige grabs her head and casts Legend Lore with an arcanely recovered spell slot. Paige focuses on Pandora, and the strangeness around her.

You do not sense any foreign influence inside of Pandora. In fact as the spell lets you kind of see inside Pandora’s legend, there’s a vast emptiness that kind of…Like you can see her deeds back to when you two have been together, but not beyond that very much and it seems to kind of just fall off into physical nothingness. But through this kind of warping of your perspective - because this isn’t like a thing that is read to you, this is an experience like you turn a fourth-dimensional corner and are like witness to this confluence of events during this massive nexus of the multiverse along what looks to you to right now be a linear timeline - So your whole perspective just kind of shifts in a really uncomfortable manner like gravity just stopped working for you all of a sudden and now you’re just kind of flipping upside down.

It’s like a psychedelic trip through hell, and what you see is Pandora encasing this kind of nothingness, this piece that seems to be missing, and you can see her sitting as she is. It’s kind of her outline, because there seems to be something kind of sucking away at the inside of her, right? So you kind of see her outline sitting on the sigil, but rather than the sigil being drawn on the nice grass of the crew room, it’s just blackness. It’s like a floor of infinite blackness and below this sigil you see Orcus, reaching up.

• Paige immediately throws up, and starts kicking the sigils to break them while Pandora protests. She tells Pandora she’s being manipulated by Orcus, and Pandora denies it, instead choosing to examine the situation from Orcus’ perspective.

You can sink into that dark place, Pandora. You’ve been there before. That’s where you have met the Raven Queen: the darkness at the end of all things. But that’s not what you see anymore. It’s a deeper darkness, right? Like the darkness at the end of all things is terrible, of course, but beautiful in its own way; a natural conclusion to the circle of life is how the eladrin explain it. What you see around you now is the darkness of a prison cell. It’s the darkness of a grave, but you’re still alive - you’ve been buried alive. It’s oppressive and omnipresent and you are a perfect puppet, wanting so badly to be approved of that you are willing to literally open your veins for the spiritual equivalent of a hug.

• Pandora casts detect good and evil to try and get a sense of what is going on, and if all of this is some test from the Raven Queen, the machinations of one god, or the machinations of multiple gods, but realizes she’s so steeped in evil and Orcus’ influence right now that she can’t discern anything with accuracy or precision.

• As Pandora fails to question her life choices in any way likely to lead to change, growth, or healing, Paige smudges the sigils some more, cursing and grumbling under her breath like a cartoon TV dad about evil deities being interested in her party and causing problems. Aida and Jon discuss Jon’s burgeoning cooking talents, and Aida casts wall of force around Pandora’s crown to prevent Rodreck from picking it up. Rodreck heals Pandora with magic, but she barely notices it, too focused on her magic.

• Paige tells the group that there should be no more deals with dark gods, and Pandora protests this.

“All right new rule: no more fucking dark gods.”

“I wasn’t even trying for a dark god. I was trying for my old god, which got intercepted by dark gods. It’s the only one offering me deals right now.”

“So my point exactly you’ve got fucking tricked by a dark god.”

“What do you expect me to do Paige? You saw what I was before. It’s fucking pathetic. It’s fucking pathetic. I can’t kill; I can’t do anything. I just steal and lie and I sneak around and I fucking do magic illusions. It doesn’t do shit.”

“Oh my god, you’re putting down your martial skills.”

“I literally forced myself to retrain everything. That is why I’m an assassin now. That is why I became a cleric of the Raven Queen. All of that is newer. What I was? That’s what showed up. That’s what she left me as.”

• Paige pulls Pandora away from the group for her first attempt at a heart-to-heart with genuine sincerity. She apologizes (with great difficulty) for hitting Pandora, and explains that losing her memory made her very angry, because of something that happened the last time she was missing details. Paige says that understanding circumstances helps her get things out of the way when things blow up, and Pandora says that it doesn’t matter because thinks will always blow up and the important stuff will always be in the way. Paige gets upset with her for being sassy, and she stares at Paige blankly, before attempting denial, repression, reaction-formation, and projection in turn to avoid emotion.

“I. Am. Sorry. For. Punching. You. I. Was. Upset. And, yeah, I just did not appreciate how you were treating me.”

“But why are you sorry?”

“Because I have been seeing…I don’t know the spiral you’ve been going down and-“

“I’m perfectly fine. It’s just me getting, you know, broken off from what I’m used to and I’m acclimating and I will figure it out as soon as we can get this whole ritual thing done. Apparently not with the sigil because the sigil brings Orcus or whatever but…”

Paige stands up, looks Pandora in the face, and slaps her once more.

Pandora, annoyed, “You just apologized for punching me and now you’re going to slap me?”

“Yes, because you’re talking fucking stupid.”

“I’m starting to think this is flirting.”

“I am trying to fucking…” Paige trails off, pinching the bridge of her nose as she processes Pandora’s deflection. “I am - Why do I fucking bother? Why the fuck do I… I was literally just coming up here to say that I actually fucking like genuinely care about you, an how like when you thought I wanted you dead, it really threw me for a loop. How all this shit, how this person, like how you perceive that I perceive you is super fucking skewed and I needed to make the record straight. And why the fuck do I even try because you’re just gonna sass me you’re just gonna fucking make dumb fucking comments and then throw your life away over fucking nothing over like this pity fucking argument you had with a god, like whoop-dee-fucking-do. Your god dropped you like the plaything that she sees you as. Who fucking cares? You are very clearly capable of putting in the fucking work to get back to where you were before without her. Without anyone. And you’re already-“

Pandora laughs mockingly. “You think I got here on my own? Where do you think I got the power from? I don’t draw from nothing, Paige.”

“I know that but you can get back on the same level if you just fucking tried.”

“I am on the same level. What does that tell you?”

“No, you’re not. You’re trying to fucking kill yourself right now.”

“No. I’m not. I would be succeeding, but the blood sigil…apparently draws Orcus… Either way, you don’t have to pretend to like me. We’re already on the same side for as long as this conflict goes about. Even if the Raven Queen cuts me off, I still owe her a debt and I will keep my word. There’s no point in pretending to be friends.”

Paige leans her head back and looks up at the ceiling. “Oh my fucking god. You know what? Just forget it. I don’t give a shit anymore. If you want to fucking throw your life away and doom everything because you had you’re fucking upset and you’re sad then be my fucking guest.”

“I’m not sad and I’m not dooming everything-“

“Just remember just remember I gave you a chance. I gave you a fucking olive branch, and you slapped it out of my hand.”

“This is an olive branch? Paige, you’re just pretending-“

Paige walks away, slamming the door behind her, but Pandora follows, increasingly confused.

“You’re not actually sorry Paige,” Pandora remarks, ignoring Paige’s sigh. “You just want me to think you’re sorry so I’ll be loyal to you. That’s how these things work. I’m well dealt in manipulation and I’m just saying you don’t need to try the tactics. We’re already on the same team.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not a manipulator. I don’t manipulate people. Not everyone is like you.”

“I’m just saying you don’t need to bother with the niceties. I’m not going to jump ship just because I was abandoned by my god. I still owe her a debt and I still plan on fulfilling it. I don’t appreciate being lied to

“That’s not the fucking point, all right? Look, I don’t I I think you really need to reflect on the fact that you think I’m manipulating you right now. Like, what do I get out of this? What do I get out of keeping you? I mean like other than what I’ve already been doing.”

“Well, we’re on this mission together. So first of all, you’d secure me not destroying the world of it. This isn’t going to destroy the world. I’m not actually going through with it. I believe you think you’d secure my loyalty through this entire effort which you wouldn’t but it’s cute that you think that-“

“I wouldn’t, you’re right. I wouldn’t secure your loyalty. You’re already loyal to the cause because you owe a debt to someone else so what is the point of me coming to you and being sincere?”

“Securing it, because you don’t believe-“

“What is the point, Pandora?”

“I don’t know. I think that you think there is something to be gained-“

“You are…I…. fucking God. You know what? I don’t…You can think whatever the fuck you want, I don’t care. I tried. I tried fucking reaching out to you. I tried being a decent human being-“

Pandora rolls her eyes. “Oh god.”

“-But I guess that was fucking fruitless cuz you’re so…are you gonna try to fucking make me seem like I’m doing this for my own self-righteousness?”

“I mean isn’t that what this whole thing is? You don’t…listen, Paige. Let’s lay out the facts: you don’t like me, we’re not friends. So where does that leave this? Manipulation or self-indulgence. Though I do think Aida’s more the type.”

“It’s me seeing someone I care about - wait, do you think Aida’s manipulating you?”

“Oh, no, not on purpose. She’s too innocent for that. I think she thinks that if she cares about me enough, and if she likes me enough, then I’ll suddenly become a good person. And I think you’re not quite there but you’re somewhere in between.”

“Pandora.” Paige grabs her by the shoulders, forcing eye contact that Pandora hates. “Not everyone is like you. All of this, this manipulation shit, this fucking 5d chess that you think everyone is playing? Not everyone is playing. Some people genuinely like you. Some people think you actually have fucking value and I know it’s really hard because you hate yourself so much, I know it’s so hard to fucking understand that-“

“I do not hate myself, I think very highly of myself, which is why I’m willing to go to such extremes because I know I deserve better.”

“Then why don’t you think that you can do that without anyone’s without? Any god’s help?”

“Because I tried before, and it didn’t-“

“Just pick up a spell book and become a wizard. Come on, it’s easy. I did it in a year. Let’s go”

“For some of us it’s not that simple, Paige. Step. Carefully.”

“Come on you think so highly of yourself. Why can’t you do it? Unless you secretly hate yourself and you don’t want to admit it to even yourself.”

“Eladrin don’t wander far from the Feywild, Paige, did you ever wonder why I left?”

“Fuck no. You never told us and I didn’t want to pry.”

“I can’t be a wizard, Paige. Let’s just leave it at that.”

“I thought the same thing and then I became a fucking wizard.”

This comment, in particular, incenses Pandora, whose voice gains a level of ice not previously there. “Well, we’re not all fucking prodigies, Paige. Do you want me to congratulate you on your massive intellect? Wow Paige, you’re so smart. You remember everything. You’re so amazing. You’re gonna save the world and you’re gonna do it without a god. Wow, you’re so important. Does that make you feel good? Does that fix this whatever this is?”

“Does it? I’m not the one who thinks everyone is manipulating them.”

“I don’t think I know.”

“You know. You are 110% positive. What do I have to do to prove to you that I’m not manipulating you right now?”

“Either you think you’re not manipulating me and you are or you’re manipulating me and trying to convince me that you’re not manipulating me. It’s as simple as that.”

“You are-“

“Nothing is free. Not affection, not power, not intelligence. Everything comes at a cost.”

“You’re right. You’re right. People have to put in the emotional work to be able to emotionally connect to people but oftentimes people-“

“And emotional connections have to be bought. You have to earn them.”

“No they don’t.”

“You have to earn them. You have to earn loyalty, you have to earn trust, and you can do that through different things.”

“No, what the fuck are you…you are so so deep in your own shit. I don’t know how to convince you otherwise but like not everyone is playing this manipulation game. You grew up in a fucking family of thieves. You grew up around people who were greedy who were fucking manipulative, so that’s all the perspective you had. You know what fuck this I don’t care anymore. Tell yourself whatever you want.”

“Finally! Some honesty.”

“I said that three times three fucking times and now you see it as honesty.”

“No, you don’t care. Being honest would be admitting it. You don’t…like I said, I don’t know what this game is-“

“What proof do you have that? What evidence do you have that I don’t care? The fact that I punched you? The fact that I slapped you?”

“No. You guys hated all of my ideas when we were together in the party before. None of you bothered trying to contact me except for Aida and we already discussed Aida. She just wants to save me from whatever she thinks I need saving from.”

“So you would have appreciated a letter from me. A sending.”

“No, I’m saying that would have been indicative of something but it wasn’t. It didn’t happen. So it wasn’t and that’s fine. I didn’t contact you either and I was perfectly capable of it. Like I think that you - I don’t know about Rumis, I can’t speak on Rumis - but you and Aida have this idea of this group as a group of friends or something and we’re not that. You and Aida are friends. Aida and Jon are friends. You and Jon are friends. Rumis is pretty much friends with everyone, but it’s not all friendship and rainbows and sunshine and oh, we’re all close. We were forced together. We had to stay together. We killed a demigod, then we separated, now we’re back together because the gods are forcing us again.

You asked me if I would be here for Raven Queen hadn’t asked me to be. I probably wouldn’t be. I’d probably be dead in Stilben with the rest of my legacy. That’s the answer. Simple and ugly.”

I think you see an energy leave Paige, like something just kind of like dying inside of her. “Yeah, you know what you’re right I was manipulating you the entire time you figured out you’ve solved the puzzle. Whoop-dee-doo.”

“I mean I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but a least you’re being honest. It’s like I told Rodreck beforehand. We have our own ideas of what needs to be done, and we’ll get the job done at the end of the day, but we don’t have to be friends.”

“No.”

“Besides, people don’t like me. They need me or they don’t. It’s always been like that, and it always will be.”

“Sure.”

And I think Pandora’s gonna like scan your face over and she’s gonna kind of interpret everything the exact wrong way, which is yes. She is right. She has correctly drawn the social cues. She understands the scenario and she is correct in drawing the conclusions that she has drawn.

Meanwhile Paige is like look not looking Pandora in the eye.

• Aida heads up to see Paige when Pandora returns from her talk with Paige alone. Paige thinks she jumped the gun, and Aida says that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. Aida says she feels sorry for her. Paige and Aida also discuss Aida’s severance from the Knowing Mistress, and Paige raises a lot of points about what a healthy chosen-god relationship would look like and about how Aida is unfairly writing herself off when there are others that Ioun could have chosen if she wanted to. Paige also, when informed of the dunamancy spell Aida has in her book that she doesn’t remember writing, puts forth the idea that Ioun is pretending to be dormant and still giving Aida spells.

• Aida and Paige reminisce about Bazzoxan, and how Aida helped Paige with Tiny Hut then. Aida asks if they are okay (referring to Paige’s lamp), and Paige takes it out to show Aida. Paige says she isn’t sure if they are okay, and Aida asks if they’d enjoy Emon, to which Paige says they probably would before putting them back away. Aida offers to fly them around to sightsee, and Paige says the lamp is inert, and magic can’t wake it up. Aida points out it only showed up one time, when Paige was in a bad spot, but not other times, and Paige tells her it was because Gary was there. Paige refers to the lamp as “fire boy”, and agrees with Aida when she says they are linked (Gary and fire boy) as much as Paige and Gary are. Paige says she found it on the side of the road outside of Port Damali along with her spellbook, near a dead wizard.

• Aida, to change the subject, brags to Paige about Jon’s cooking and how happy she is about him getting more independent. Paige replies, but half-heartedly, actively dissociating during it.

• Pandora waits for wall of force to drop before grabbing her crown once more, learning absolutely nothing because le trauma.

Reckless

I don’t think much of myself.
So I may be a bit reckless.
But I could see I was affecting the elf.
I will not be called feckless.

The mask offered sweet delights.
Promising to bring me to great heights.
But I tore it from my face.
In hope my elf will no longer be a disgrace.

• Rodreck

Heroes of the Netherdeep | Emon (Tal’Dorei) | 10/05 Session

• Rodreck offers to get Divination so Pandora can ask the Raven Queen a question, but she tells him it isn’t worth it because of how vague divinatory magic is. The group decides to head to Ioun’s shrine at Aida’s suggestion, and Paige agrees to tag along. Aida finds out that Jon has been accidentally using his pretty privilege to get free things, which she is shocked by. Pandora comments that she only pays for things when they are with her, and Paige says she always pays because she respects workers.

• As they head to the bookstore, Aida sticks her tongue out at the temple of the Raven Queen, and prays for Ioun to grant Pandora entry. Pandora, after some hesitation, manages to enter the shrine without issue, and immediately understands Aida’s interest in the “shrine” (6ft 5). She asks Kai for books on the Raven Queen and atonement, and after an hour, is only able to determine that everyone rich and noble wrote about the Raven Queen in overly large books for no good reasons. Kai informs her that she’d find more personal accounts from champions or holy books at the temple, and when he laughs at the idea of the Matron having a vendetta against Pandora, Pandora tells Aida she has bad taste and leaves.

• Meanwhile, Paige reads through several books on rituals of nonlinear plane travel and summoning, memorizing them in the hour Pandora reads but not having the time to fully process it, and Rodreck reads poems about the Knowing Mentor. Rumis begins to read a book called Claiming the Crown: An Experienced Guide to Assassinating Royals that can teach him how to brew poison, create disguises, and hide weapons. Pandora comments that she loves that book, and read it when she was younger. Rumis asks if by younger, she means a child, and she says that she was ten. Rodreck asks how long ago that was, and she says it was 18 years ago, give or take.

• Aida takes the time everyone is using to read to examine her spellbook and new spell with Identify. She verifies that the handwriting is hers, and spends the rest of the time looking for books, settling on an erotic first-person memoir about a goblin groomed to be a concubine in a foreign land written by an elf, called Memoirs of a Goblin.

• Jon grabs a book later identified as fantasy The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, sizing up Kai (literally) and exchanging a short conversation with him before following the rest of the party out. Only Aida notices this exchange, but she doesn’t hear what is said, and when she tries to see what the book is, she can only make out “girl” and “dragon”.

• Pandora tries to fey step into the temple of the Raven Queen, failing every single time until she’s shaking from the effort of it and winded. Rumis offers to enter for her, and she ignores him, still upset about his (predicted) replacement of her and his taking of the Deathwalker’s Ward. Rumis takes the hint. Pandora then asks Rodreck to do it via message, saying she wouldn’t normally, but she has no choice, and she wants to know about the other champions. Rodreck agrees, and marches inside only to find it empty. No clerics or priests exist in the temple, and the only thing he can see is a large wall full of books. After a couple hours of searching, Rodreck manages to find a book on the Deathwalker’s Ward that doesn’t say anything new that they don’t already know, and a book about a past champion of the Raven Queen - Purvan Suul. He grabs the books, and leaves the temple.

• In the two hours it takes Rodreck to locate the books, Aida begins studying Comprehend Languages and Paige is working on the ritual circles she found in the temple of Ioun. Aida, once again, tries to glean the title of the book Jon is reading, but gets distracted by a lone bead of sweat traveling down his abs (unwilling to just ask about the book because she’s a “bottom and a coward”). Rumis begins to read his book, and Pandora prays at the Raven Queen, but it is mostly a string of insults and pointed blame, like every lesbian breakup ever.

You’re fucking vague and it’s not helpful. And if you want me to do something, it would be better to send me some sort of sign or communicate, but I guess that’s not your strong suit.

• Unfortunately, the Raven Queen is unable to understand Pandora’s “feeble” attempts at romance (building a shrine out of her former boss’ bones) and it is very lesbian of her.

“Their customer service was terrible,” Rodreck says, handing Padora the book he found on the past champion.

“Sounds about right. Thank you, Rodreck. I mean it.”

“Well, you know me. I would beat you to death with a crowbar if you asked.”

• After some discussion about the ethics of murdering guards perpetuating a system and stealing from rich people for fun, Pandora leads them to Tully in Abadar’s Promenade, finding her in Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. She passes the portable hole to Jon to safe guard (which he is confused about and asks Aida what to do with), and to have Aida be able to buy some things, before going in to greet her least favorite dragonborn acquaintance.

“My, you look well adorned, Tully. Recognize me?”

“Who wouldn’t? Oh? No, no threats? No demands? Oh, it’s been nearly thirty seconds already. You must be dying.”

“Oh, I’ve run out of them. You know, I was so busy destroying the Clasp in Stilben. It’s interesting to hear that you’re working with them.”

“Very interesting to hear the results of your efforts in Stilben. You must be sitting pretty with all that reward for what was doubtlessly countless hours of difficult labor.”

“Oh, I know. It must be difficult to imagine getting your hands dirty. I know you don’t like doing that directly.”

“Well, with such gorgeous hands as these,” and she like spreads her hand out, admiring her rings on her left hand, “who would want to get these dirty?”

Paige throws up in her mouth a little bit as she browses things off to the side.

“So, are you here to drown everyone in Emon like you did in Stilben, or are you just begging for more…?”

“You know, I always thought it was your role to beg rather than mine so, um, interesting. I’m not here to drown you and your, uh, cute little plan, more here to see what we can do to speed it up, because you know, they chained our ship, we need to get to Vasselheim, so I figured I might as well lend a hand.”

“What do you think you know of my little plan first of all, and second of all uh, what ship and who chained it?”

“You don’t need to worry about the specifics.”

“Oh, then here we go. Nobody needs to know the details except Pandora, cause she’s the only one who can handle it. Tell me another one.”

“Honestly. I much preferred Stilben but, whatever. We have to work with the material we have.”

“It’s a shame you didn’t stay.”

“It’s a shame Emon’s still here. You know, I think you’d look lovely as a bloated corpse.”

“Likewise.”

“Regardless, I came to see if there’s anything we can do to speed up your little plan, since we need to leave and the guards are being a tad reticent, and they currently are under the illusion that we’re with someone else.”

“Oh, so the guards mistook you for one of my underlings, and you came to grovel in order to be let go to go do whatever it is you do.”

“Oh no no. They mistook us for someone much more important than one of your groveling hirelings. No, you don’t need to know those specifics either, but I came to see what we can do to work out some sort of deal to speed this up.”

“Nothing. You can do nothing. I don’t require your services right now but thank you, you may go.”

“I don’t think I will, you know. I think I could stick around here for a little bit.” and then Pandora’s gonna like walk around and look at all the nice goods and say, “You know, a girl could get used to this. Would be a shame if I stuck around.”

“Let me know when you see a girl walk through the door. Oh, there is one back there. Hello sweetie, what’s your name?” and she like very clearly switches her attention from Pandora to Aida as Aida and John walk in.

• Aida, not knowing anything about Tully, waves. Tully asks her why she’s with the group, telling Aida she should work for her. Pandora steps between them, informing Tully that Aida is also “not her concern”, which she might struggle with as she’s not great with comprehension skills. Tully asks if she ever shuts up, and Pandora annoys her into helping by threatening to stay in Emon for longer than needed. When Pandora informs Tully where their ship is being held, she tells them that her influence does not extend there, and that the Skyport is under the military’s jurisdiction.

• Pandora remarks that Tully’s puppeteer strings don’t extend very far in her own city, and that she kept Stilben on a tighter leash. Tully tells her she’s not welcome down here, and asks if Pandora takes a boat or swims to Stilben since it was “under her finger”. Pandora, by the skin of her teeth, manages not to explode or react to Tully’s taunts, sensing that is exactly what Tully wants her to do.

• Paige asks Sean Gilmore if Tully is always this whiney, and Gilmore remarks that she’s normally much much worse. Paige is surprised that Pandora is balancing this person out, and Rodreck remarks that this has become a “motley drama”.

• Aida tries to tell Tully she is freelance and not accepting work right now, but Tully is focused on Pandora and has forgotten about Aida as they bicker. Aida notices Jon asks Gilmore if he can have something, and Gilmore agrees absentmindedly as he watches the bickering occur. She is shocked and disappointed.

• After a bit more wheedling, Pandora manages to get a mission out of Tully: go to the House of Discipline, and speak with someone expecting a messenger. Pandora, satisfied in Tully finally giving her a direction, fails to notice the lack of instruction or care about the vague phrasing.

• Aida accidentally flirts with Gilmore (which he reciprocates like an eager slut), telling him he should expand into Nicodranas, and reacting with magic when he kisses the back of her wrist. He asks her to run the satellite office, and she says she’s busy with Ioun and protecting everyone. He tells her he will live in disappointment until she is available, and thanks her for her protection. Aida rambles about the logistics of expanding, and says she’s nervous in magic shops and libraries because she isn’t as cool as Paige when Gilmore tells her she should be at ease here. Gilmore says few are as cool as Paige, and Aida is happy they are on the same wavelength. Gilmore oozes charm, and is “as venerable a host as Tully is a miserable bitch”.

• Tully, disappointed when Aida fails to maintain interest in her, approaches Paige. Paige is grabbing components, and Tully is very 1% about her recruitment strategies while shooting disgusted looks at Pandora. Paige’s only reply is “no thanks”, and “I’ve already got one Pandora in my life, I don’t need another one.” Pandora is incredibly smug, remarking that her party doesn’t find Tully very interesting.

• Jon tries to buy a Robe of Useful Things with the portable hole, nearly exposing the fortune to Tully, and gets upset when Pandora tucks it away in her pockets after an argument. He storms out, emotional and upset, and the others aren’t far behind him, heading to the House of Discipline. Aida lingers in the nice atmosphere of Gilmore’s attention, before eventually catching back up with her party.

• Much to Pandora and Rumis’ disappointment, the House of Discipline is less a kinky place, and more a military dojo training facility. They are approached by Ousk, asking if they have the message. Pandora asks to go somewhere private. Aida and Jon go to watch the soldiers. When asked again for a message, Pandora tells them they are supervisors, and (after intuiting that she is meant to be manipulating the platoon to join the rebels) that she is Athena, a member of the Air Ashari here to oversee and offer assistance where possible. Ousk immediately relaxes at that knowledge, and asks if Pandora has a mission for their platoon. After some more back-and-forth, Ousk informs the party of the other camps (poorly provisioned) and the actual military’s positions (stretched thin, except for the guards left to guard the rich). There are at least a dozen camps like this one, forgotten, and the soldiers are all barely twenty (so very young).

• Rodreck asks if they are being paid well, and they reply they aren’t paid at all. They are fed well, but reveal that only commoner children are conscripted for war, and no noble children are entered into the military. When Ousk replies that they wouldn’t want nobles in battle anyways because their forces are already good, Paige remarks they could make good meat shields. Pandora gets an idea, and messages Aida to ask if she’s up for some cooking (and that cooking isn’t a way to say murder), because breaking bread might be a good way to gain the trust of these soldiers more fully. Aida agrees, and Pandora gives her the portable hole to fund the ingredients, telling Aida that Jon is not allowed to handle it again.

• As Jon and Aida leave, Pandora remarks that nobles not entering battle is a difference in the cultures, for the Voice of the Tempest is incredibly formidable, and useless nobles is strange to Air Ashari. The seed takes root immediately, and they seem to look differently at the nobles after the remark. Rodreck tells a tale about Zan Tal’Dorei, the first sovereign of Tal’Dorei and a true warrior.

“You know who was a good fighter? Zan Tal’Dorei. She started as a rebel, actually, fought in the scattered war before she became leader of Emon herself. The first sovereign of the Tal’Dorei bloodline. This whole continent’s basically named after her. Now there would be a great person to fight under.”

• Pandora tells Paige that they need to plan seeds of discourse carefully, as Rodreck has been doing thus far, and has the faint realization that Paige has not acknowledged her at all since their little tête-à-tête. Since it is for a noble cause, she tells Paige that she shouldn’t have an issue being delicate for now before asking what Paige’s problem is, because she’s acting off. Paige tells her not to worry, and Pandora (for once) is direct and says that if it is going to be an issue with communication, it needs to be dealt with right now. Paige speaks in circles, and Pandora tells her that she knows she can be reticent since that is what she’s doing with her issues with Pandora. Rodreck tells her she can use her guitar, and Paige agrees to help.

• Paige tries to walk away and Pandora follows her, demanding to know what the issue is while Paige continues to refuse to say. Pandora expresses confusion, believing they’d resolved their issues, and stating she hasn’t done anything too objectionable lately. Paige calls her spare parts, and Pandora’s confusion persists. Pandora tells her she’s good at reading people but not books, so she’s going to need some elaboration. Paige says she’s not in the mood, and Pandora clearly isn’t that good at reading people, but Pandora insists once more, stating she is trying to be genuine and has offered to take a truth potion to get this issue resolved. Pandora adds that her leadership skills with Rodreck and Rumis are what the Raven Queen rebuked her for, so she’s trying a new approach. Paige remarks that the Raven Queen might have abandoned her because she is belligerent and dense, and puts words into other people’s mouths to suit her “fucked up world view”.

“Because you don’t fucking listen to people if they don’t fit your exact fucking narrative. That you’ve put words into other people’s mouths just so you can fucking…So everything can fit into your fucked up little worldview.”

“Okay, fine. I’m listening right now.” And Pandora’s gonna sit down on the floor, and she’s going to say, “This is your chance. I won’t put words in your mouth. You tell me exactly what the issue is. I can appreciate your lack of energy-“

“Because you accused me of being manipulative and I was trying to be honest.”

“Paige, you were saying things that couldn’t be true. You don’t…I’m not trying to put words in your mouth. But you can’t honestly care about me. That’s not how this works. That’s never how this works.”

Paige stares at you.

“Why are you staring at me? Like, I’m asking…Because I thought…”

“I’m waiting for you to stop being a fucking dipshit.”

“How am I being a dipshit? You agreed. I… You don’t like me. That’s why you never reached out.”

“Oh my fucking god.”

“Because I’m very confused at the moment. Because I thought we were in agreement on that. But now you’re saying…I put words in your mouth.”

“Yes. You fucking painted me as a manipulative liar. Who was trying to get you to do something.”

“Being manipulative isn’t inherently evil. Nor is being a liar. Even Aida’s manipulative, though not intentionally.”

“I didn’t say you were calling me evil. Pandora, I don’t want to have this conversation with you right now. How about you do something for me? Can you self-reflect for fucking once in your entire life? Because I know you don’t do that, ever. Put together the two puzzle pieces I gave you.”

“I’m…You’ve…You’ve given me something that’s an obvious lie. And now you’re saying something that contradicts it.”

“It’s like talking to a fucking brick wall with you.”

“Just say it plainly then.”

Paige is walking away.

“No. No, Paige. Just say what you mean. Just say in the line and I won’t tell you what you’re feeling or thinking. But I don’t understand this. You’ve given me puzzle pieces but I do not have the equipment to put them together because it doesn’t make any sense. This does not make sense from my worldview, my perspective, my everything. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Your perspective is fucking wrong. It’s fucked up. You are broken. Stop trusting that worldview.”

I’m not…I’m not broken. I’m fine.”

“You’re not broken. You’re perfect.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“You’re a perfect little princess.”

“I’m not perfect. If I was perfect I’d still be Chosen.”

“You are perfectly…You’re perfectly mentally healthy. You have no problems whatsoever.”

“Paige, I kill people for a living. I don’t think I’m perfectly mentally healthy. That would be delusional.”

“Yeah, and you’re fucking delusional too.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, whatever this thing is that I’m misunderstanding, just fucking say it.”

“I already said it out loud. And it was…really fucking hard. And you were just like, no. That’s stupid. That’s ridiculous.”

“Say it again because I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I…told you…that…I think…you’re not this…irredeemable piece of shit. I think you are extremely capable. And that you don’t need a god’s support. Maybe for magic. But not for effort. I’ve known you for a long…a pretty long-ass time. And I know…that when you put your mind to something, you can fucking do it. You don’t need a god to hold your hand, to do things. And you keep fucking complaining yourself into thinking you need something’s help to get things done. And you fucking don’t. No one does. I’m fucking proof of that. Last year, I was fucking trash. I was nothing. And here, look at me. I found a book. And here we are. If you wanna get onto a level that you can respect yourself at, you need to put some fucking work in. Not because you don’t put work in, but because you…you just have to. The thing that was so fucking hard for me to say was that I fucking believe in you. And if the Raven Queen can’t see that, fuck her. And if the thing that’s on…the entity on your head can’t see that, fuck them.”

Pandora bows her head. “Believing in me…is a mistake. Because I…made a deal. And it wasn’t with the Crown.”

• Pandora recalls what happened for Paige, summoning Orpheus for Paige to examine. Paige says to let her examine Orpheus tomorrow, when her magic recovers from removing Rodreck’s curse, and they come to an uneasy understanding without anything truly being settled.

• Rodreck calls the soldiers for a poetry reading, captivating most of the platoon and leaving them openly weeping as he reads a Walt Whitman poem.

Beat! beat! drums!—blow! bugles! blow!
Through the windows—through doors—burst like a ruthless force,
Into the solemn church, and scatter the congregation,
Into the school where the scholar is studying,
Leave not the bridegroom quiet—no happiness must he have now with his bride,
Nor the peaceful farmer any peace, ploughing his field or gathering his grain,
So fierce you whirr and pound you drums—so shrill you bugles blow.

Beat! beat! drums!—blow! bugles! blow!
Over the traffic of cities—over the rumble of wheels in the streets;
Are beds prepared for sleepers at night in the houses? no sleepers must sleep in those beds,
No bargainers’ bargains by day—no brokers or speculators—would they continue?
Would the talkers be talking? would the singer attempt to sing?
Would the lawyer rise in the court to state his case before the judge?
Then rattle quicker, heavier drums—you bugles wilder blow.

Beat! beat! drums!—blow! bugles! blow!
Make no parley—stop for no expostulation,
Mind not the timid—mind not the weeper or prayer,
Mind not the old man beseeching the young man,
Let not the child’s voice be heard, nor the mother’s entreaties,
Make even the trestles to shake the dead where they lie awaiting the hearses,
So strong you thump O terrible drums—so loud you bugles blow.

• Rodreck remarks that it must be tough to fight your friends and neighbors, but they should hang in there. Rodreck whistles as he walks away, donning a black beret.

• As Rodreck basks in the aftermath of his performance, Paige begins questioning the foundations of the soldiers’ beliefs, informing Ousk what the conflict is really over (freedom fighters), and what is happening in the city they are meant to protect. Paige also points out the Clasp benefits from the current structure more than they benefit from the present anarchy, and Ousk gets shifty about strategy. Pandora and Paige both talk to her a bit more, and Ousk is left questioning their beliefs about what their role is a bit more. Pandora tells them to go wash up, remarking that her friend is an “excellent cook”.

• On their shopping trip, Jon and Aida discuss why Jon was upset about Pandora taking the portable hole back. Jon remarks that Pandora was doing it to prove she was powerful and to belittle him, and Aida tells him that pulling it out in front of Tully was the real issue, because people might want to steal it if they see it. They manage to buy the ingredients, and Aida finally extracts the name of the book Jon got in the Temple of Ioun.

• As all the soldiers sit down to eat the delicious ramen Aida and Jon made, Pandora raises a toast to the table at large.

“To your continued excellence, and however we may assist that.”

• The soldiers are excited at the toast, eager to have Air Ashari on their side, and Aida thinks about telling Keyleth about the lie Rodreck, Pandora, and Paige are perpetuating. Rodreck is chatting up random soldiers, successfully infecting them with socialism to the point that they are willing to follow him into battle against either side.

• After dinner, the party tells the soldiers they’ll come back soon with a more clear idea of what needs to be done, but they have some thinking to do. Rodreck, on the way back, debates writing a manifesto. Aida expresses a desire to not get involved, mentioning that Keyleth knows (without being clear on what she knows), and Rodreck and Pandora both tell her that they are just investigating right now. Aida squints, only seeing that Rodreck is excited and passionate about this whole affair without knowing if she can trust him. The group also discusses all that they have learned about both sides, and how they still don’t have answers about what the Myriad and Clasp’s goals are with this whole plot. Rodreck suggests Gilmore might be hosting Tully unwillingly, so Aida casts a sending to him:

“Good evening! Are you in trouble? Is Tully bothering you? Who do you support? Do you want to meet up to discuss? Best wishes. Stay safe.”

“Not in danger, I support Tal’Dorei and peace and hope the situation will result in no bloodshed.”

“Sorry to bother you again. When is the best time to meet up without…company, if you get what I mean. Just us. Party, I mean. Not just me.”

“If it’s just you, you can meet me here after midnight. If it’s your entire party, best wait for the morning light.”

• The message triggers a fireball which Aida is quick to counterspell. She tells the group they can meet him in the morning, with red ears. She storms off, embarrassed, when Paige presses her on her off behavior.

• Rodreck, Pandora, and Rumis conduct a spirit session to gain the spell Divination, which Rodreck immediately casts after the spirit session:

“Raven Queen, how can Pandora get back in your favor and regain her powers?”

• Pandora avoids Paige’s eyes, knowing this is the exact opposite of what her entire speech was meant to inspire, but unable to fully believe Paige’s speech.

It is a small dwarven girl. Couldn’t be 50 years old yet. And she comes trotting up almost immediately after you ask…The last word of the question leaves your mouth. And she says to you in a sickly, sweet, kind of sing-songy voice, “Cease the power chase. Find your own grace.”

• Only Rodreck is able to hear the message, and when he relays it, Pandora’s already tentative faith shatters.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

Paige blinks.

“No! I know what it means, Paige!” Pandora snaps. “But I was chasing power before Her, and I’m going to do it after Her. What the fuck does She expect? She knew me when She chose me. Then She all of a sudden gets to get up in Her feels about the way I am.”

“I fear you might not be able to get back in Her good graces at this rate,” Rodreck says.

“Fuck this. Fuck Her. No. I thought I did something wrong. She just decided to reject me for who I’ve always been, because that’s just who She is. And if that’s Her problem, then She’s not half the god I thought She was, and I don’t respect Her the way I thought I did.”

“Because she thinks better of you?” Paige asks.

“No. She saw me for what I was when She chose me, and She’s deciding that now, that that’s not enough.”

“You’re focusing heavily on the first part, but you’re ignoring the second part,” Rodreck says. “You should find her your own grace. I think that’s important for you.”

“Fuck, you’re stubborn,” Paige comments.

“How am I being stubborn? I’m doing what you said, which is forsaking Her. I’m not fucking going back.”

Paige, like, opens her mouth to say something, but I think she’s too flabbergasted to like respond.

“I’m done,” Pandora continues. “I thought…I gave Her everything I could. I did what She asked of me when She asked of it. I followed Her tenets. But, you know, sometimes people make decisions and you don’t know about those decisions, and your god decides to punish you, but really, your god’s punishing you because She doesn’t like who you are, even though She’s always known who you are and She’s always seen who you are.”

“And who you are is unchangeable,” Paige remarks.

“I can change. But I’m not changing…for nothing.”

“Who said you had to?” Paige asks. “In fact, I believe She’s saying the opposite. If you manage to change, then…congratulations, you’ll be back in Her good graces. She’ll like you again.”

“I don’t think She ever liked me in the first place. I think She just viewed me entertaining and then it got inconvenient. And I think that’s where we are right now.” And I think I’ll look at the altar, because I definitely have the altar still up. And it’s, again, constructed of my boss’s bones.And I’m going to cut through it with my sword. And I’m going to discard all the smashed pieces.

The smashing of the altar sends shivers up Rodreck’s spine, a warning.

“If she can’t tell me what she expects of me, and then gets mad when I don’t obey, I’m done.”

“What of the crown on your head?” Rodreck asks.

“It’ll ask a price eventually and I’ll follow it,” Pandora remarks blankly, and Paige gets the feeling that this isn’t entirely Pandora’s words. “But I’m not Her fucking puppet. I’m not hanging on Her strings. I’m not under Her complete control. I’m done. She doesn’t like me? Fine. I don’t like Her. I’m not devoting anything to Her. I won’t worship Her. She bans me from Her temples? I don’t need to go in them. She bans me from Her domain? I found someone else to let me in. She doesn’t matter to me.”

“What about your own grace, your own power?” Rodreck asks.

“My power’s always been an allowance from someone else.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“I’m not good at wizardry, Rodreck. I’ve tried that. I’m not a sorcerer. I’m not…a warlock’s just a cleric, but with less benefits.”

“Where’d you get the puppet metaphor?” Paige asks. “I feel like you wouldn’t bring up puppets unless someone told you.”

“I’ve heard tales of clerics who could draw power from their own faith in themselves,” Rodreck recalls. “Or the world around them.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. My…Listen, I’ve gone through a couple domains, so I know a few things about drawing from things, but…I’ve always drawn from deities. I drew from Ioun in the past. And then I drew from the Raven Queen. And now I’m drawing from…Whatever I’m drawing from. My domain is blood. I can’t just believe in myself enough to do blood magic. That’s not how it works.”

“What? You don’t have blood in you?”

“I do, but it’s different.”

“I want to say whatever makes you happy, but I don’t think you’re happy.”

“I don’t think anything we can say will make her happy,” Paige replies.

“I’m perfectly content.”

“That’s not happy,” Rodreck says.

“I don’t even know what happiness is. I like gold, and I like killing. I think that’s enough. I don’t think…I don’t know. Either way, I got my answer. And…I don’t have to bother with trying to return to Her.”

• As Rodreck, Rumis, Paige, and Pandora head to bed, Aida prepares for her meet-up with Gilmore. After a couple back-and-forth sendings, Gilmore tells Aida she can bring Jon, and that he’ll leave the shop unlocked. Both Aida and Jon have no clue what the implications of an after-midnight meeting are, and are more reminiscing about their times sneaking out from her parents’ house around midnight for no reason. Aida and Jon find a trail of flowers leading to Gilmore’s bed room, and they both fret over the possibility of Gilmore having been hurt.

Heroes of the Netherdeep | Emon (Tal’Dorei) 10/12 Session

“Are you okay?” Aida asks a Gilmore who is laying across his bed, wrapped suggestively in silk sheets.

*Gilmore has a confused look on his face and he, like, pauses for a second, like it takes him a second to kind of comprehend. And then his expression lightens and he’s like, “Oh, oh no, I’m actually in grave danger.” And he holds his wrists together and puts them up over his head, which further suggestively drapes the sheets on his very naked body. And he’s like, “Are you here to rescue me?”

“Oh goodness. Jon, we’re dealing with some invisible enemy that we can’t see, and I don’t have detect magic up. And, oh goodness me. Okay, hang on, hang on.”

*Jon, who is wide-eyed, his eyes are just like saucers. He’s just going to kind of lean over to you, Aida, and be like, “I don’t think he’s in danger. I think, I think he’s flirting.”

“How can you pick that up?”

“What do you mean, how can I pick that up?” Jon hiss whispers. “He’s laying naked in bed and just locked his own hands above his head! How can you not pick that up?”

“Because, I don’t know, maybe the Myriad showed up and stole his clothes. You know, what happened earlier in the day, you know, with Tully. And, I don’t know, some deal might have gone wrong, and now that’s why he doesn’t have any clothes on. Okay. Dispel magic!”

*Aida and Gilmore both scream as the lights all go out when Aida casts Dispel Magic.

Gilmore also screams, though his is slightly less halfling and more of a, ah! And then you just hear his voice kind of completely changed from the scream. Like at first he’s startled, and then he comes back a moment later with like a soft purr. And he’s like, “Oh, so you prefer the dark. All right.”

“Okay, Jon, I think he’s possessed as well. He’s charmed.”

“No, I really, I really think he’s flirting with you. I think I should leave.”

• Gilmore and Aida are both incredibly confused, until Aida realizes that this is something Z prepared her for during their time together in Kymal.

“If we were to, you know, join you…”

Jon just looks down at Aida. He’s like, we? He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are like, we? Question mark? Question mark? Exclamation point?

• Jon leaves at the first opportunity, embarrassed, ashamed, and not yet ready to confront how he feels about Aida and his own desires. Aida stays, nervous but somewhat willing. She discussed the expectations of the night with Gilmore, and Gilmore tells her that they don’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Aida tells him she needs to entrust herself to someone she knows well before she can be ready to have him as a companion cough, and after a bit of back and forth, casts Planar Ally to try and summon Dione while Gilmore watches on, incredibly confused.

• Kai is summoned, because Aida does not clearly articulate her desires or that she wants Dione and not just an ally from the Prime Deities. Gilmore watches the awkward encounter and explanation between peals of laughter, and Kai explains that he is demisexual, and wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping with Aida until she wines and dines him. He leaves, and Aida casts Planar Ally again after an awkward hour of Arcane Recovery. Gilmore takes everything in stride, finding Aida quite adorable.

AK NOTE: Dione is called the “Lord of Light” by Kai. Never let this go. Never let it drop. It is the funniest title in all of existence. Oh my god it is so pretentious.

• Aida’s request to the snickers Lord of Light:

“Oh, dearest Lord of Light. I think we need to be formal now. I’m gonna request this. I ask…Just some of your time and attention to be present in this moment. Um…Because… Dione, I can’t be formal with you. This is serious, okay? I need you to be here. You need to be…My first. Okay? Gilmore’s visiting with a very…Positive opportunity, but…I’m too scared to do it with him first. So…I’m entrusting…I’m entrusting my body to you.”

• Dione appears this time, in his true form, and has a great night with Aida and Gilmore.

• Jon returns to the ship and encounters Paige playing a song on the ship’s roof. Noticing Aida’s not with Jon, Paige asks about it. Jon was instructed via sending to not tell anyone about Aida’s location beyond her going for a “walk”. Paige wheedles out very little until Jon gets drunk enough to spill that Aida is East, and that she’s with Gilmore, but he sobers up before saying anything else. Jon feels really betrayed, because they’d been having a fairly friendly conversation beforehand and Paige was offering him some wisdom on humanity and being a man. Jon, feeling manipulated, goes to bed, and Paige stays on the roof all night.

• Rumis and Rodreck huddle together, Rumis afraid of sleeping alone and Rodreck plagued by dreams of his mother. Rodreck heals from his exhaustion, finally, as the Mask’s influence begins to fade. Rumis also heals from his point of exhaustion, and sleeps without dreams.

• Pandora directs a parting message to the Raven Queen, a promise and curse in one:

You meant more to me than you know. You mean nothing to me now. I will complete our bargain, and I hope someone takes your place.

• Pandora constructs an altar to the abstract beings she is worshipping, and directs her nightly prayer to Lolth in particular, as well as Orcus, Asmodeus, Vecna, and all of the Betrayer Gods except for Torog.

I’m not sure which of you I have to thank, but I am grateful, and if there is a way I can be of assistance, send me a sign.

As you are sitting there praying, a small - it’s about the size of a, like a silver dollar - it’s small, and it just kind of descends on a web, on a string, uh, right in front of your face. It’s this little, mechanical spider. You can tell that it’s mechanical, it’s made out of brass, or copper, some sort of, warm-hued metal, and on its back is a multifaceted ruby, about the size of your thumbnail, and it just, like, spins its way down, and lands in your lap, and unless you intervene in some way it will kind of just crawl up your body until it reaches the crown. It crawls up to the crown, and settles right in the middle, like right above your forehead, as if your crown now has a ruby centerpiece to it, and it kind of just blends there.

As it’s doing this, you are rocketed back to the last conversation that you had with the Raven Queen, the one that you forgot, and you kind of get some more pieces. You remember Her immense form. She had to be - I mean, it was tough to judge, right? because you were in this endless blackness, often She was the endless blackness - but you definitely remember Her in a form maybe 15 feet tall. Huge, but not, not mind-blowingly enormous, right? And you remember Her screaming at you. You remember Her voice, and you remember the tone. She was screaming at you about how you were supposed to be the leader, and you were supposed to lead the charge, to be the tip of the spear, to act as Her chosen, and instead, you let your friends be tempted and seduced by the Betrayers. As this memory returns to you, you can feel her fury.

I think as Pandora’s remembering, she would direct another thought to the Raven Queen, which is, Maybe there wouldn’t be Betrayers if you didn’t give them reason.

• Pandora tries to switch her season back to summer, but finds herself stuck. She’s always been in summer, so being in winter is a tell for her, but she finds it impossible.

Now you have the added problem of realizing that you can’t change your season. You are physically unable to at this time.

Pandora fully knows what it means, but she’s like, I’m not. Like with everything Paige was saying, where it’s the truth, but she doesn’t want to see it. She just pushes it aside, and is like, that’s not real. That can’t be real.

• Aida indulges in the attention of Dione and Gilmore, who cover her in markings and are delicate and careful with her. As gentle as she wishes. She has a wonderful night, as do the other members of her threesome.

“Stop the power chase
And find your own Grace”
So saith the Queen of Ravens.
But does she offer any havens?

I don’t like that the elf feels rejected
I didn’t know I feel so affected.
Does pride not allow you to seek forgiveness?
Or was your rapport only business?

I worry what you do when no one’s watching.
I worry this relationship I am botching.

• Rodreck

Paige’s Setlist:

• Paige on the roof

Aida’s Adventures in Romance