26 February 2019
The dads arrive in Neverwinter and are shocked to see that the Doodler has been put up on a banner hung in front of the city’s original banner. While they’re still discussing this, a guard calls out to them to determine why they’ve approached the city. The dads reveal that they’re looking for their sons, and the guard begins questioning what exactly Odyssey-san is. The dads convey that the van is a great beast from the land of the rising sun. The guard doesn’t buy it and immediately calls for backup, all of them aiming crossbows at the dads.
Glenn has the idea to throw on the Doodler jerseys in an attempt to appease them. Ron, as the smallest, ends up wearing the kid-sized jersey. As Ron starts to articulate something about his penis, Henry calls a dad huddle. Darryl specifies that it’s a real dad huddle, so Ron cannot participate. They cannot determine the size of Ron’s dick at this time, instead sending him on his way out of the van once the jersey is on.
Darryl touches Ron’s butt and honks the horn before he steps out, hoping to intimidate the guards into not immediately shooting Ron. When Ron steps out, the guards are immediately confused and alarmed, surprised by another emissary. Ron manages to convince the guards to let them into the city. The guards mention that Ron is weirder than the other two, and that immediately makes Henry believe Lark and Sparrow have come through. The dads decide their best course of action is to dawn the Doodler shirts and see where this takes them. As a note, Darryl puts on his shirt really well.
As Henry makes a dad joke, the dads all evolve to feel more at peace with the jokes, accepting it as part of themselves. The dads take a nap in the car to recover from all of the dad jokes.
When they wake from their nap, they find themselves surrounded on all sides by guards. Henry is the first to make contact, asking if it would be possible for the dads to meet with the other two emissaries that came through here. The guards reveal that they have been destroyed or disappeared. During the conversation, the guard reveals that these two emissaries looked like the same child but twice. The emissaries spoke confusing words and, the next day, the Lord of Chaos had appeared. Henry freaks out a bit because he’s certain that those are his boys.
The guard appreciates how good Darryl looks in the Doodler shirt.
After some confusing back and forth, the guard decides that the dads must go meet the Lord of Chaos. To see the Lord of Chaos, the guard suggests the dads go to Ankara the Entertaining’s Pit of Myriad Delights. Because Henry looks so upset, Darryl offers him the keys to the van to cheer him up. This is also a bit of a ploy for Darryl to steal some of his Charleston Chews from where Henry has been storing them. Unfortunately, Henry spots him and begins to scold him for taking another Charleston Chew.
Henry does take a stop at the Bleeding Elf, giving the elf a Charleston Chew while making direct eye contact with Darryl. It’s a gross affair with all the blood, but the elf loves it so much. This punishment has the desired effect, and Darryl feels very ashamed of himself. This entire dynamic reminds Ron of his parents.
Ankara the Entertaining’s Pit of Myriad Delights is a place created to enable carnal pleasures. One pit is best described as an orgy pit, and the other as a gladiator pit. Darryl is unable to look away from the orgy pit; it makes him very uncomfortable as the pure boy he is. Before they leave the car, Henry gives some advice to the dads. He suggests keeping their mouths closed and hands to themselves. As a precautionary measure, he establishes a buddy system among the dads. Ron and Henry are buddies and Darryl and Glenn are buddies.
When they exit the van, the orc manning the ticket booth immediately takes notice of their Doodler shirts. He needs to immediately get the sheriff. Before the orc can slip away, Henry asks him what exactly is going on in these two pits. It’s revealed that the gimmick of this place is that life’s conception and end are being offered as entertainment. During this, Darryl finally notices the other pit.
As they’re speaking with the orc, a frustratingly handsome man approaches the group. He introduces himself as Sheriff Boreanaz. When Darryl notices him, he cannot properly articulate his introduction. Ron introduces himself as Beth before correcting himself. He commands that, at the count of three, they’re all going to reveal why they are in Neverwinter. Naturally, each of the dads say something different. To recover, Henry immediately calls a dad huddle.
During the dad huddle, Henry proposes that they stick to the truth this time. The dads are in agreement, and with that settled, they turn back to Sheriff Boreanaz to redo their answer.
Just as Henry promises, he tells the Sheriff the truth. Boreanaz confirms that the children are no longer here, that they’ve disappeared. He also reveals that the Doodler resembles an eldritch god that Sheriff Boreanaz and other Neverwinter aristocracy worship. Boreanaz believes that the god will be summoned when blood of the unsung hero is drawn. While the pits are used recreationally, he has lately been using the fighting pit as a way to assess who might be the unsung hero. He leads the secret cult of the Doodler.
The Sheriff is not certain that the dads are not as magically inclined as the children were. Boreanaz agrees to give the dads an audience with the Lord of Chaos, but he’s hesitant to allow the dads a meeting. He believes they could be the unsung heroes. Before a decision can be made, Darryl begins to head into the pit of pleasure. When Henry attempts to intervene, he tears Darryl’s shirt. Darryl reacts without thinking, pushing Henry into the orgy pit. Immediately, Henry is proposed. The pit is all consensual, so when Henry decides not to partake, he is left alone. By some miracle, Henry comes out of the pit clean. In anger, he throws another Charleston Chew into the fuck pit.
By the time the dads return to the Sheriff, Boreanaz is starting to believe that they are not, in fact, the unsung heroes. That said, he reveals that if they impress the Lord of Chaos in the fighting pit, he will arrange for them to see the lord. Boreanaz understands that, perhaps, one of the dads may be the unsung hero.
During this, Darryl shoots a quick text to Carol saying that he loves her and they’re still searching for the kids. Carol’s response is entirely focused on the children. Because Darryl’s phone is a Nokia, the battery life lasts.
A frustrated Darryl spurs them all into action, taking off his shirt, and heading straight into the fighting pit. Henry is desperate to see his sons and, in the face of this, abandons his pacifistic nature. Given that the dads are still operating under the buddy system, Glenn follows his buddy Darryl into the pit. While Ron may not be personally invested in the fight, nothing bothers him more than a gatekeeping middleman. Armed with his razor-sharp business cards, he follows the other dads down.
While in the pit, Henry spots the Lord of Chaos. The lord is positioned so he can only see the fighting pit, observing all that’s happening within it.
Since they only have one chance to impress the lord, Henry suggests that if all else fails they get naked. The Lord of Chaos refuses to look at the orgy pit, so he theorizes that it will force the lord to respect them by being so bold and chaotic. The other dads are onboard with the plan. Darryl doesn’t even hesitate or wait for the fight to begin, stripping down immediately. As reluctant as Glenn is, he believes in the buddy system and also begins to strip down. Henry immediately caves, stripping away his clothes. Ron attempts to join them, but struggles with the many layers of pants he wears.
As the dads prepare to fight these creatures, Henry hears a familiar set of voices immediately begin to cry out in anguish over their dad being naked. The Lord of Chaos throws off his cloak, revealing the horrified faces of Lark and Sparrow.