Defeated the specter in the fight pits.

Was able to get the amulet from the clock merchant. Used the amulet by accident and revived Daemos body. Got sucked into the portal that opened in Daemos’s mouth.

Within the new dimension passed a trial of floating tiles to a house and being followed by lava. Gave all the phantoms in the large bird cage a crown, dagger and ring. Ozil jumped through the window into a different dimension and had a dream. Threw a coin into the fire vortex to make our way to Daemos.

Met crab demon who was chatting a ritual over Daemos’s body. Tried to convince Crab Demon to release Daemos and Otis. Crab Demon called his retriever to capture Otis. Daemos’s demon pact came to retrieve Daemos’s soul back.

Revival of Daemos

Battle in the Subconscious

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Ryan says pee pee poo poo vagina…

Mingo summons invisible stalker(104HP) on first turn and defends itself on its first turn. (Called Tim, unsure of him coming)

Otis moves back and uses hunter’s sense to learn the Retrievers immunities and resistances(Immune to poison, necrotic, psychic, Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing from non-magical)Otis rolled nature check(18) and additionally learns it has condition immunities. Otis Longbow attacks “Skeeky Skulker”(22 hits) dealing 8 damage, arrow “tinks” off as though he may be resistant. Otis cheated on accident and should have attacked and used a bonus action but accidently used two actions… oops. Lair action ensues and lava moves up.

Barr’s name is buck and he likes to fuck. Barr moves directly in front “STD or Crabs” and with his moon touched longsword he smacks him in the dick(15 miss). And attacks again(FINDS THE CRITORIS) uses a superiority die to use fire strike adding 1 D10 fire damage for a total of 10 magical slashing damage 4 more superiority die and 1 more fire damage(resistant to the fire damage). Barr uses a bonus action to attack with his claws(16 miss)

Daemos’s pact devil flies up to “the big guy” and attacks 3 times twice with a fork 16 misses and 28 to hit dealing 5 damage rounded down due to resistances. Attacks with tail (25) dealing 4 damaged halved due to resistances. Crab man makes a con saving throw and saves with a 28 which suck cuz that would have “yoked him up”

Ozil attacks with booming blade succeeding on 15 to hit dealing 4 damage halved due his resistances. Ozil uses a bonus action to attack additionally and succeeds with a 22 and deals 3 damage halved with. Aura of annihilation from the bodak deal(aAtt says hold on)5 necrotic damage (a discussion ensues about how many off the note comments about what is being included in the notes. (Less notes on Ozil turns due to note taker playing instead of note taking.

Zieg cast scorching ray onto the spider(15 misses, 14 misses, 16 misses, 19 hits) and deals 11 fire damage. He then moves.

Ragazu(check the spelling) turns the pact devil and says fuck you sounding like skeletor. and hits with his pincer with a 21 and hit again with the pincer and then hits with 2 fists attacks doing a “shit ton” of damage(8, 4, 4, 2,) 18 damage.

Bo-Jangles skeet petes, and locks eyes with Ozil forcing him to make a con saving throw(saves with a 22) dealing 13 necrotic damage

Spider walks up to Mingo says ‘Do not interfere” and makes a four leg attack (19 hits for 15 damage) Mingo deals 5 cold damage due to hagabadar. second attack misses with 17. Third attack potential forehead dildo attack turns into a yellow beam of light instead towards Otis making do a constitution saving throw(19 saves) and nothing happens.

Ending the FIrst Full round of combat

Second round of Combat…

Mingo says the command word halt forcing a wisdom saving throw and the spider saves with a 17. Elemental moves into an advantageous position on the the spider and try to “jam it right in his web maker” first slam(25 hits) second slam(11 misses) dealing 9 damage. MMMMs turnign into slight moans around the room…. We get the feeling that the spider knows where the stalker is regardless of it being invisible.

Otis uses the bonus action to cast slayer’s prey on “skeeter teets” and the smacks his titties with his long bow attack(they do not jiggle nor roll) 22 hits and 26 hits. Billy suggests flying to town to sell Otis ammo and replace with dildos. Attacks deal 8 damage( Matt asks what kind of damage slayers prey does) Slight delay because Kyle parked in front of Angela’s spot even though Ryan said multiple time not to Deals 7 damage for the second attack.

Layer action ensues and lava be rolling up on our asses.

Barr is going to attack, but moves into advantageous position first(Ryan looks sketch) Barr rolls a 1 and a 2 first to miss horribly. Second attack is an 18 and hits. Barr burns a superiority die and does a fire strike, Deals 16 damage fire is halved. Then he smacks him in the mouth with his claws but misses even though he said he smacks him.

Pact Devil is going to attack “the big dude” 26 hits, next attack crits, and tail hits with 23. deals 5 damage, 12 damage and 6 damage. And forces a con saving throw and crabby saves with a natty cuz of course.

Ozil does nothign useful cuz hes a useless piece of shit. He does nothing with sword burst and then misses with a 12 on his attack as well…

Zieg uses conjure animals and summons two brown bears Barr is initially skeptical but realizes they are ladies and is then intrigued. The bear(1) makes a bite and claw attack at advantage one crits and the other hits with a 24. Dealing 9 damage for the bite and 13 for the claw, but it does nothing because of immunities. Bear number 2 moves and take an attack of opportunity and takes 19 damage.

Crab guys turn… Let the record show that we have recently we meaning Kyle, Matt and Steven played a PC computer game called Baldurs Gate 3. In Baldur’s Gate 3 what is the fun thing to do. Kyle states see tits and fuck thing. Bills asks like Will. Fuckery ensues. and Crab man tries to push Barr into the sea of nothing. Barr crits with a nat 20 and the crab gets a nat 20. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? We reroll… and both forces roll nat 20’s… again… the odds of this happening are(TBD by Angela).. We reroll AGAIN Crab at disadvantage and Barr at Advantage. Barr rolls a 23 and the crab a nat 1. Due to the Nat 1 he burns all of his actions attempting to do this…

Skeeter Petes looks at Otis and forces a con saving saving throw. Kyle yells YESSS but has to make sure cuz he doesnt know what he is doing. Rolls a 3 to fail and Otis takes 20 necrotic damage.

Last up is homeboy and says quit fucking with the plan. And is going to attack the stalker. and hits with a 30 for 15 slashing damage and attacks him again and hits with a 20 for 14 slashing damage. and then turns to Otis to attack with his his purple beam and saves. Otis Takes 16 force damage which is half of the total damage due to the save.

Round 3 of Combat(8:55pm)

Ryan is counting alot…. and says Mingo needs to make a con saving throw by being 30ft away from Bob.

Mingo casts spiritual weapon and summons a weapon next to the spider. Weapon misses with a 16. The Stalker body slams the spider and first hits with a crit and misses with a 17 on the second. Deals 16 damage.

Next up is Otis…. Next up is Otis…. NEXT UP(Ryan states impatiently as Kyle is on his phone) Otis makes a long bow attack on skeeter Petes and hits with a 17(YEEEUUAHHHH it fucking does) Otis casts ensnaring strike forcing a strength saved as noted by Kyle whilst his voice cracks. 16 saves. Deals 2 damage and 3 damage.

Lair action… Lava still coming in hot…. get it?

Ryan wants to state that it was a really good idea to grab the crab man and jump of the ledge and fist fight while falling in the infinite abyss.

Barr attacks(I missed the roll, but it does 7 damage) The crab man is looking fine. So Kyle says lets do it. And…. attempts to tackle the crab man with a 19 he says RAWR and he jumps and brings his feet up “Like that” and crane kicks him off the ledge and tries to huah cha kick off him to lauch himself back to the ledge. With an 18 he pushes off him and(Ryan and Kyle negotiate) We get the idea there is gravity but if they fall the momentum would carry. Barr attacks while hanging with his weapon and hits stating avast ye scally wag with an 18 causing crab man to fall while yelling wahhhhhh in the endless abyss. He tries swimming yelling huh huh huh . he grabs a dagger and tries to jump and launch off, but it doesn’t work.

Pact Devil is going to go make an attempt to help Barr up cuz he was EVILLLL one time. Barr needs to make a save and advantage and it’s a good thing cuz Barr rolled two 4s like a bitch but it’s a crit. He yoinks up Barr and puts himself over Daemos to protect him.

Ozil attempts to push off teeter peeter and fails with a 19. almost casts burning hands not remembering he is resistant to fire damage and instead attempts to push him again succeeding with an 11 causing skeeter to fall taking damage and being prone

Zieg casts scorching Ray on the spider at hits 2 times and deals a total of 10 damage. and is now going to have the bear stick his claws in someone’s butt. One Bear jumps onto Skeeter. Bear takes 7 damage, but causes 14 damage by landing on him. Ryan mocked Matt’s voice in a very douchy manner. Bear attacks with a bite and hits with a 16 and misses with his claws on a 14. Deals 9 damage causing bo jangles to look pretty fucked up. Bear two tries to move taking an opportunity attack and gets hit with a crit causing 30 damage. Bear attacks skeeter and misses with both attacks even with advantage.

Home boy floating into the abyss says if i cant participate neither can you and uses power word stun on Barr causing him to be stunned.

Bo Jangles stands up and swings at one of the bears and misses with an 8. Ryan says oooooo and says he’s been missing with something. Big boy is going to say “enough of the games” in a shitty robo voice and sends the yellow dildo beam at Otis causing him to make con save. Otis rolls a nat 20. He attempts to attack the stalker and hits with a 14 and deals 9 damage sue to resistances. attacks again and hits dealing with 8 damage due to resistances. And then……. Ryan says with a pause and he moves the spider causing 3 opportunity attacks, from the stalker, Mingo and the spiritual weapon. The stalker misses. the spiritual weapon attacks and hits with a 21 and deals 7 damage. and Mingo Misses with a 10.

As lava flows we see the terrain begin to crumble around us. The perpetrator of Daemos captured soul floats into the abyss. The Spider mechanoid scurries with intent toward Otis hellbent on his master’s orders. The Pact devil protects daemos body.

Round ends and we will pause the 11/20 session ending at 9:38pm….

Daemos is Back

11/29 session begins

Matt needs to do better-Kyle

Actual start time around 6:48pm

Round 4 of Combat

Mingo top of the order to begin the session… Kyle fucked up all the audio… Mingo moves behind the spider(Sexually) in the butt, possibly two fingering it. Mingo will attack twice missing with both attacks. Spiritual weapon moves to the right of the spider thing, spiritual weapon misses. The Stalker moves to the left side of the spider slams and hits with 2 attacks with 25 and 24 dealing 16 bludgeoning damage.

Otis casts slayers prey on Bo jangles/ skeeter Pete, and attacks twice with his bow. Pete has +2 to his AC due to partial cover. One attack hits dealing 18 piercing (Slight pause to deal with audio shit again.) Dealing half damage, buttttt it smacks hit in the head. Crab guy sees Bojangles get sniped in the head and yell BOOM HEADSHOT. Otis flys “over here then”.

Lava creeps forward

Barr just stands there paralyzed again

Pact devil is going to do stuff… He is going to protect Daemos and hurl 3 flames at the boobazoo 1, 13, 25…. Flame 3 hits and deals 18 damage but its resistant and deals 9 damage. Boobazoo makes a strength save to resist flying back and rolls a 14 failing and gets pushed further back slightly into the abyss

Ozil attacks shoots his crossbow at the crab guy and forgets to turn his crossbow sideways into kill shot and misses horribly on both attacks…. Otis asks if he’s gone yet, rest of the party ridicules Ozil being useless

Zieg uses scorching Ray 24, 11, 18. Only the first attack hits. Dealing 5 fire damage. The Bears are going to move(Figuring out the movement speed cuz Steven “Bearly knows” closer to the spider.

Knock knock…. Everyone on the top of the cockarock to make a wisdom saving throw. Ryan has a small penis and remembers Ozil is at disadvantage making him fail… along with everyone else. Ryans also sings a jingle to tell us everyone is now confused for the duration(One minute) make saves at the end of the turn. Beginning of the turn you roll D10 to determine what he does.

Retriever goes Krabby and is going to pause his pursuit of Otis and try to kill off some of his attackers. Attacks the Stalker twice hits with 14 dealing 5 damage, and again with a 29 dealing 8 damage. And then he is going to turn to Otis and say “You will not escape” and cast his yellow peepee energy and make him do a con saving throw. (Kyle rolled a 17) Tim rolls a crit and passes.

Round 5 of combat

Mingo attacks the spidey with his sword two times. 21 hits and second misses. Deals 7 slashing and channels divine smite deals 6 radiant while the slashing does nothing. Spiritual weapon hits with a 19 dealing 3 damage. Stalker attacks twice and finds the critoris twice(And an 8 ball) dealing 36 bludgeoning damage.

Otis casts hunters mark on crabby and attacks twice with 16 and 14 both missing. He flies up closer to the edge(and I’m about to break)

Lava moves up

Does Barr know wtf hes doing with his turn. Rolls a D10 for his confusion. Rolls 9. Rolls 21 for his con save. Rolls 7 on his Wisdom to fail. Is free from his stun. Bruns inspiration and rolls a 6 again on his wisdom save

Pact Devil rolls his d10 and rolls a 7 and attacks Ozil with a 1 and second is a 16 which hits and deals 8 piercing damage and swings his tail dealing 14 piercing damage. Ozil passes the con save. Pactg Devil fails all his saving throws…

Ozil rolls his D10 and fails miserably attacking Barr twice and missing and rolls 5 and 4 on his wisdom save.

Zieg moves to be within range of the crab dude and cast scorching ray 24,24,25 hitting with all three dealing 10, 7 and 4 damage. Forcing concentration check on the crabby 3 times saving all 3. The bears move into position behind the spider

Next up is tickle dude. He is going to hold his action after trying to flip us off before realizing he doesn’t have hands to do so.

Fucking Pickle guys is getting sick of this bullshit and feels invisible guy is his biggest threat. Hits with a 17 dealing 10 damage. And hits with a 16 dealing 8 damage. He is going to blast a red beam at the stalker causing a dex saving throw. Fails getting dealt 31 force damage smacking him in the robo titties he doesn’t have. He is then going to be done

Round 6 of combat

Mingo is going to rabbit hop over the stalker to be next to him and burn 35 healing to heal his stalker 35. Stalker attacks and crits first attack and second attack misses with a 16. Deals 15 damage to the spider.

Otis attacks twice hits with a 20 and misses with the second. Attack deals 8 damage. Causing a con save and passes. We are going to kill ourselves cuz of this fucking confusion. Ryan and Kyle argue over something.

Barr rolls a d10 for confusion and forces himself to walk off the ledge. Argument ensues about how Barr’s momentum makes him fall. He is determined to be falling straight down slowly. Fails his wisdom saving.

Pact rolls his D10 and is a 9 and is able to move freely. He is going to run over to Daemos and grab him and his wings start to molder as he begins reciting a an incantation.

Ozil moves over to Pact devil attack dealing 11 damage but the number was tripled. Miss with the second attack. OZIL FAILED HIS WISDOM SAVE AFTER ROLLING TWO 7’S AND IT IS DETERMINED THAT DISADVANAGED THROWS CASUED BY MAGICAL MEANS CANNOT HAVE A CRTITICAL SUCCESS AFTER A 45 MINUTE ARGUMENT.

Zieg shot his bow at his crab man and rolled an 8 to miss

Crab man pulls out a golden apparatus with colorful bulbs and says bibity bopity get off my property and casts lightning bolt and yokes up Ozil, Devil, and Daemos. All fail their saves and deals 34 damage to Ozil and 104 damage to the devil

Spidey Recharged something and Ryan was way too happy. Otis makes a Con save and saves with a 20 and “this thing is pissed” Spidey now casts a web spell underneath himself and then he will run away taking opportunity attacks from Mingo hits and uses divine strike to deal 22 damage. Stalker attacks and hits with 25 dealing 12 damage.

Round 7 of Combat

Mingo makes a dex save because of the spidey web and becomes restrained. Uses the action to make a strength check to break free failing with a 10. Move s the spiritual weapon in front of the spider attacks and misses with a 16. The stalker will move next to the weapon. Makes the dex saving throw, but can’t move because he fails. He uses his action to break free and succeeds with a 13 and moves anyways

Otis uses his bonus action to add slayers prey and attack crab guy. First attack hits with 17 and second with a 19 dealing 13 and 12 damage.

Laval moves up

Barr does nothing and yells HELP

Devil rolled a 6 and does nothing, but snaps out of confusion finally

Ozil fails his first death save with a 2

Zieg moves up on the ziggertwat and dashes up slightly higher. The bears save there dex saves and move closer to the spider.

Homeboy is going to take his golden rod and activate it and sees a white bead begin to glow and he laughs obnoxiously and turns it and points it at himself and casts gust of wind on himself and he starts moving toward the cliff

Spidey moves up the ziggertwat and he is going to look at “you’ and says no and shoots a force beam at the pact devil forcing a dex save causing half damage, but then tripled into 42 and the blast from the force beam hits against the back of the devil. And his eyes go black and is obliterated from within and Daemos’s eye opened he gasps for air.

Round 8 of combat

Mingo makes a strength check to get out of the webs and succeeds and moved towards the zig. The spiritual weapon will attack and miss. The Stalker will move up towards the spider and attacks twice first hits and second misses dealing 8 damage.

Otis attacks both times and hits with both dealing 8 damage

Barr rolls a 9 so he can fuck some shit up. The crab is an indeterminate distance away. He shoots with his long bow twice missing with two 16s. Uses a bonus action to use second wind healing for 13.

Daemos comes back not know what s going and assesses the situation and see the glabrazoo in the distance and identifies it as a threat and lashes out with magic not able to do anything. He picks up the crossbow off of Ozil and shoots at the bluebazoo and misses

Zieg heals Ozil for 8 health and throws Daemos some pants. The bears move towards the spider

Boobaboo says fuck you if my retriever can’t have you nobody can and points his wand at Otis and uses fireball causing 13 fire damage

His boy will go and god dammit…. He is going to look over at Mingo and look at the lava laughs and casts web at Mingo and the stairs. Then casts his beam at Zieg causing a dex save. Zieg saves and takes 8 damage.

Daemos hears a voice saying succumb to me and you will be free. Daemos says yes bitch full send this bitch. In a moment he sees the world freeze and the babazoo yell no almost had it.

Group Returns to Rethal

The world turns white the voice says seek me out and we all come too on the ground around Daemos’s naked body outside the fight pits. It is as though nothing has happened and no time is passed. Daemos takes his first breath and Barr gives him the most gentle hug.

Otis holds his knife to Daemos and begins to question him on whether he’s evil or not. Conversation ensues Daemos tried to deceive Otis about not knowing about why the pact devil was trying to save him, but fails. Otis agrees to go back to the Max Guild to discuss this.

End 11/29 Session