Kraken Saga

Planning Gone Wrong

12/7 session begins

The sun and moon make a bulge therefore we have tides.

Tim says to Matt do better next time to which matt responds your’e welcome to try Tim

Kyle tells a story about farting at the catalina wine mixer and having a bubbly tummy

Session official start time 6:45pm

Oh I can movie it sexual moan

Start the day off at the max guild after taking a long rest

Start of Sunday January 22nd

Max Guild
We wake up in the max guild and there is anticipation in the air with Daemos coming back and the inevitable battle with the kraken. How will the adventurers spend their last day before shit hits the fan. Barr wants to go to the traveling market and we need to check in with Delmira

Roll the d100 for the market we hit 43 and 21. There are two vendors one being a mending shop run by Mendelson the mender the most talented mender in all the land. And another shop being just a piece of plywood, but the fantasy equivalent in Crayola crayon the bloodletting store. Tim wants us to “Compound” him.

Shop Area
Barr approaches Mendelson and brings Daemos broken friendship rings for mending. Barr is a big Barr claiming to have broken the ring himself in one fell swoop. Mendelson explains how this works, Barr rolls for insight(12) and he seems reasonable to trust him. What Mendelson says he is going to do is take the ring and do a “little magic: and fix it up. Mendelson sounds like a mobster and doesn’t know how much it will cost, minimum 1 gold maximum 500 gold pieces that’s only if it turns out to be a wonderous godly item. 1-20 gold most of the time. Mendelson gets boisterous and claims it can be done in 2 hours. Mendelson will give us a slight explanation of what the magic item does. The first item Mendelson mended was a HELM OF TELEPORTATION that was cursed and brought him into an adult red dragon rectum. It was the stench that really stuck with him 20 years ago it was the stench that really stuck with him. Unwashed asshole… 2hrs donezo. Does not have any items on him that people don’t pay. Barr slides Mendelson over one gold as a downpayment to try and “let his magic flow” Daemos fist pounds Barr

(we did not know what dragon survived in the final battle in the previous campaign. We know white dragon fall, but we don’t know who died.)

Otis leads the way to the bloodletting shop. A dracula sounding Mfer is running the shop. He says it’s a general store with potions and other misc shit. You vant lamp he has lamp. You vant general stuff he has general stuff. Also has this row bow, but not relevant. You ask for stuff he tells you price is good. Asks If we need an abacus. Nobody wants abacus. Won’t stand in front of the mirror and becomes Borat all of a sudden. He continues to explain he has a ton of shit. Otis inquiries about healing potions. He offers 1 cup a golden goblet insinuating he wants one cup of blood for the potions. Otis doesn’t want it but Ozil and Daemos split two cups of blood and receive a greater healing potion. Daemos and Barr roll investigation check to see his wear(3 and 4) and they notice candles… Barr notices a BIG candle that smells like mountains. Barr asks about vials and he do have vials. 5 vials for 1 cup of Barr’s blood. Barr also inquires what the vendor does with the blood. And he and his friends drink it. His brothers name in Vladmir. He has 50 cups to fill with blood and has 4 cups filled. He has a girlfriend Vampirina. His name is Ransey. He claims the vampires do not intermingle with other races. He claims that vampires have real nice… balls. Claims to not have had to kill anything in 5 years. From far away. Not too far. More than 1 day walk from home. Zieg asks about the ink pen and steel mirror. Otis warns Zieg that he thinks we shouldn’t be giving him our blood. Ransey says it would come to 2 cup. He goes on a rant about how sturdy the mirror is. Otis seems to have a problem with Ransley. Barr is trying to reason with Otis. A line is forming. Otis doesn’t seem thrilled but Zieg agrees to the deal of 2 cups of blood for the ink pen and steel mirror.

We bob around for 2 hours and we find the most generic flower shop and Barr wants to buy a beautiful bouquet that exudes strength and power. Ryan comes up with a ridiculous bouquet and charges 100 gold pieces… because of course. Without the dew drops which is this worlds equivalent of diamonds apparently and it becomes 5 gold. Barr buys this bouquet as Barr walks away and she says make sure the not to forget the plan food.

The group returns to Mendelson and he says he has mended the given items He says the item is pretty decent and resemble what looks like a necklace. Mendelson wants to strike and deal and claims it helps you breathe. How much we talking here. The one gold price tag is a nahhh he wants 10 gold. Barr hands over 9 gold. And he yells sucker and throws a puff of smoke but is still standing there saying just kidding. Barr takes the necklace and hands it to Daemos and it is a Necklace of Adaption.

Ryan needs us to roll a D10 to determine which magic item table we roll on. It’s a 6 and then a 64 on the d100

Mendelson offers a +1 shield we buy it and Mingo gets the shield and gives Daemos his old shield. He also offers another item a smaller red stone a ioun stone. There’s an old deity they are in honor to. They are enchanted stones and they orbit around your head and its difficult for it to be stolen each one does something different and this one keys in on awareness. It warns when things try to surprise you . No muskrats in the bushes trying to fuck you. For 20 gold pieces we can buy it. Otis takes the deal.

Delimira’s Shop
We head out form the market and go toward delmira’s. and we see 3 things sitting out up against the forge. A basic chain shirt, a unique looking sword and collection of arrows with a note attached to them. Barr hands the arrows to Otis and Otis read the note out loud, She says she doesn’t know what a dildart is but these should do the same thing. Daemos gets the chain shirt and a katana.

There is another note that tells Barr to look on the other side of the forge. And there is a piece of thin armor a mix between a wire and an armor in the shape of the loop. And it says thanks for the hug needed that today. He puts it on and it feels like it’s giving him a squeeze. Barr writes a note and leaves it with his flowers.

The group fills Daemos on what has happened since him untimely demise. Tim’s a piece of shit….. As we get ready to leave Daemos notices a note attached to the sword. Daemos reads the note to himself and tries to cut it with his new sword. He misses Otis and Barr try to catch it. Otis catches it puts it in his mouth and spits it out. Daemos cuts it up and then Otis shits on it. Daemos alerts a guard that his groups “pet” has shit on the ground and won’t pick it up. The guard tells Otis it is against the penal code to shit in public and will give him a citation if he doesn’t pick it up. Otis takes out his meal kit and picks up the shit with a spoon and puts it in the napkin and throws it away.

Crown Smith
The group goes to the crown smith. The guards are dicks that only say access denied. But it’s because it is a limited access area and we need to identify ourselves. Barr makes a perception check(21). Guard is confirmed extra douchey and smiles when we mess with people. Daemos mentions the Kraken attack and the guard doesn’t seem to know what we are talking about and we play dumber saying april fools the guard says what is he talking about its not February and we walk away.

Mayoral Estate
We head to the mayoral estate and try the mattress password with some air humping. At the mayoral estate we see the mayor with the port master. They are facing us at the battles masters table. They are planning with somebody.
Barr walks up and you see 4 people standing there:

Fist one turns around and we see the burning gaze of Brandy Flamehand , Ringo Silas and one other. The Cogmind Collective

Silass says fine product poor delivers…. Barr “that’s what the doctor said when you were born.”

Port master and mayor look at us and say ahh nice of you to join us we have been planning all weekend. Zieg asks how equipping the soldiers for the battle is going,. The mayor says not as great as we hoped. We want to make sure the weapons are up to snuff if there are kraken tentacles. We had to call in some reinforcements and we didn’t have as much materials as we had wanted. The mayor invites to the table with the cog mind collective. He walks us through the battle plan with 30 ships in the water the ships goals will be to hold their own and focus a target. The main ship is the port master ship, the furry and fiends ship, the cog mind collective, and the star pupils from the mage academy will have a ship, Uldwar’s chosen. Otis looks at the port master and says what if we do a decoy with the port masters boat and used it as bait. But Otis forgets the port master is perceived to be dead by the kraken. We see on the manifest of uldward chosens, Isasi Marinelli, Timonax Van Roy, Clarien Harmense.

The plan is to flood the krakens known waters with boats and kill it….. The strategy is to hide our most powerful warship in a cloud of less powerful warships so the kraken doesn’t know what to attack. Brandy says it will be a cinge for us. Otis flips them off.

The new nickname of the cogmind collective is the cock mind collective (props to Barr)

The cock mind are being sore losers. Barr schools them and Brandy burns some pubes in anger

The group squabbles over a war strategy. The groups brings up they have someone special that could be used to lure out the kraken. The port master is…. Not a fan of this woman and agrees to let her live if the kraken is killed. The Mayor opens up a deck of cards from a magic desk. He is allowed to pull a single card. Mingo encourages drawing this card and his eyes turn green. The cog mind collective votes no, but the furry and fiends out vote them by all voting yes. The Mayor pulls a card and his face turns whites stating “by the gods what have I done” and his soul leaves him and he passes out. Mingo’s eyes turn black and seems satisfied by the result. Mingo now has the second curse he now has an erection that will not go away until the curse is lifted.

Silence rolls over the room as the port master looks at him with a mix of shock and a blank expression. Port master recites the code of the city stating the port master is the new mayor…. He then realizes his daughter is the actual port master and would transition into control instead of him.

Barr whispers to Mingo maybe the Portmaster shouldn’t make it out of this skirmish. Daemos says hey look there’s an opening now for port master. And the port master in anger pulls a card from the deck of many things. He realizes as he draws the card he is not the mayor and horror washes over his face. He is going to shit his pants and takes out a glass bottle and opens it and a plume of smoke dissipates the port master is gone. Leaving the Cock Mind collective and the Furry and Fiends at the planning table.

****End of Session 12/7 9:48PM Ending XP 30,328 ****

New Leadership/More Planning

12/13 Session Begins
We start off in the mayoral estate with the cog mind collective looking sketch like. Ozil leaves to go get Vanessa. The cog mind collective is whispering to each other. Barr asks what they’re talking about. They ignore him and huddle together. Barr yells to the guards come quick… there is no response. Barr looks out and sees no guards he then blocks the exit. Barr expresses to the group questioning what we should do next. Otis casts Circle of truth, Barr chooses to fail, Daemos passes, Brandy passes all others fail. Brandi and Daemos bow out of the conversation in agreement to tell the truth.

Arguments ensue about the furry and fiends involvement with the kraken. The cog mind is still hesitant to trust the furries because of their past encounters. The cog mind seems to have joined another guild, but is hesitant to reveal such.

Vanessa joins the the room looking for her father. Vanessa notices the Mayor on the floor and turns white. The cog mind accepts a challenge to try and kill the kraken first. Barr attempts to block the door and the furries taunt the cog mind and goad them into a fair fight and working together. Brandi stops as she tries to push through Barr and says “move now”. Barr questions the politeness of this request. Barr tells her the battle starts at 8am and to not be late. Barr gives Talon a GG pat on the ass as they leave and closes the door on them.

Side note…. We forgot Max is missing….

Vannessa explains where she saw the guards running. We decide to Tell Vanessa the events that led up to our current point including that her father is now public enemy #1. Vanessa wants to save her father as her top priority.

We go to the mayor’s office to use the city’s emergency broadcast system to try and contact Sign N’Here to get Vanessa instated as the figurehead of the city. Barr searches the Mayor’s office and finds a bowl of dried peppermints and snacks on them. Mingo is also trying to locate Tell Em’all to pay him off to spread word of the new mayor. Barr begins to rummage through the mayors desks.

Sign arrives at Mayors office and we explain the situation and Furries attempt to negotiate and expedite the inauguration process. Otis casts zone of truth and Vanessa is inputted as the interim mayor until there is time for a more formal ceremony. Section 6 article 42 states that if a false mayor or a mayor draws more than one card they shall be hunted until death. Daemos remembers that Vanessa notices all but 2 guards go chase after something. We institute a draft directed at the ports people for all men women and children over the age of 14 to report to duty to fight the kraken with the penalty of imprisonment or fine for deserters.

Change of setting, Daemos, Mingo and Zieg to the Port and Otis and Barr to Delmira’s

Daemos, Mingo and Zieg go to the port to help hand out war materials and check out the new recruited townspeople. People are singing an old tale about the old battels for Rethal . There is a general feel that people are ready to go to battle for the city. Otis and Barr go to Delmira’s house. The forge is not lit and Barr bangs on the door and it is open. There is no response. Barr calls out to no response and goes in to find an empty house. Barr looks for the hamper but pussies out. JK he goes and finds it and takes a whiff. And it smells like a whiff of pheromones and garden flower. Otis is watching the whole thing , but tells him he can sniff it. There are no signs of a struggle. Barr leaves a note explaining the situation in a real nice polite manner. Otis asks if Delmira would be offended if we were to take some weapons to arm the townspeople to fight the kraken.

We go to the bar and try to recruit the town drunk to the battle. The drunk turns out to be the heir to the M’Coin family that was the former head for the town guard. We convince him to join the fight by telling him he could potentially see the current captain die. He will lead one of the three Warships

Unimportant will captain the second ship. And the cog mind collective will captain the third warship.

We transport a trebuchet onto our ship and load up 8 barrels of oil from the observatory to the ships. 2 go to the Drunks ship, 3 go to our ship and 3 barrels go to the cog mind. We go into the port master’s office and go to the bookshelf and go into a secret chamber and on the mantle we see a mechanism that looks like a weird thing that Barr found that you pull a trigger and it goes boom. It looks like a harpoon that is adorned in gold and has blue arcane speckles along it. On the bottom it says its name and it says the port master’s greatest the (Frenzy) We pick it up and load our arsenal with it as well.

End session at 6am and everyone will be meeting at port ready for battle. Need to determine strategy boat locations

3 war ship 4 long 2 wide
5 galleon 4 long 1 wide
40 small boats 2 long 1 wide
Our ship 5 long 1 wide
Mage Guild One single 3 long 1 wide(coming out of the port of Rethal)

End Session 12/13 9:18pm No XP gain 30,328